Went for a swim late this
Expect to go out to the Stadium to see death old Harvard play Washington and Jefferson tomorrow afternoon。 Should be a good game。
Have just been thinking that this time last week I was in your arms or you in mine。 The world do wag on and its waggery decreases my joys instead of increasing them。 Ah; that last night with my arm about your waist! You haven't forgotten it either; I know。 Dear One; we have at least glorious memories of our past together which augur well for the future。 It has been sweet; so sweet to me; sweet with the flavor of your adorable personality; My Own。 We have a future together; I am sure; that will more than pensate for the Present's sins of omission。 And yet; and yet—My God; it is so hard to wait! I try to bear it with some show of equanimity; to call a patient philosophy to my aid; but it's no use。 I want you! I want you! I want you! Bee dear; my own Bee dear; I love you so; so much! Little wife; little wife; I adore you!
But now; alas; when I need you so much you are worlds away from me and
“I am a prince of thwarted ecstasy
Of unassuaged desire。”
But a week from tonight—Delirious thought!
Gene
约翰·默里致卡瑟琳·曼斯菲尔德
约翰·默里(1889—1957),英国新闻记者、评论家、编辑。他曾就读于基督慈善学院及牛津大学,1918年与英国女作家曼斯菲尔德结婚。
1923年妻子病故后,他发表了《曼斯菲尔德的一生》(1933)、《曼斯菲尔德及其他文学传记》(1949—1959)等一系列关于她的著作。默里写了40余部书和大批新闻作品,这些作品贯穿了他对社会、政治和宗教等一系列问题的明确观点。他主要的文学评论作品有《济慈与莎士比亚》(1925)、《济慈研究》(1930-1939)、《威廉·布莱克》(1933)、《乔纳森·斯威夫特》(1954)等。
我的宝贝:
今天上午收到了你星期天(2月3日)的来信。跟你以前的来信相比,这封信在某种程度上更进一步告诉了我你的大致感受和你的近况,这可能是因为我跟你的感觉完全一样。我也有两个写作动机:写作的快乐与绝望的“反对堕落的呼声”。我们之间绝对一致的写作动机深深地打动了我,确切来说,我好像就要高声叫喊起来一样,事实上,你已经喊出来了——那种彻底的交流所激发的不可思议的、神秘的感觉。
而且,我不需要告诉你说我也害怕战争:它如同一场瘟疫,或者像某种巨大的怪物在等着你。我因为孤独而感到无助,(说得好点)感到宿命的压迫。当我们在一起的时候,我觉得我们共同拥有某种美德,所以我们在某种程度上能够经受它。但是,分开却没有益处,一点也没有。
我希望明确地知道,你是否能设法说服领事馆。我想你一定可以,但是,我仍然非常焦虑,除非我真正知道了结果。
我不知道该说什么好,亲爱的维格。我没有沮丧,但也不快乐。我似乎处于地狱的边缘,那里一切都模糊不清,但明显的是,这里仅仅只有“一半的我”。还有一天,我说我的灵魂已经离我而去,偎依在你身旁。在说这些话的时候,我是镇定的、深思熟虑的,这看起来是如此简单的一个事实。
我想,现在努力工作是一件非常好的事情。我在孤独的时候,就非常缺乏自信,只有通过写文章来缓解紧张情绪。没有它的话,我那深深的沮丧将会爆发出来,我将变成一个对什么都异常冷淡的人,这很可能会带来某种破坏。
但是,我一听说你快回来了,简直高兴得无以复加!当我想到我们将坐在餐厅吃饭,想到我们将互相拥抱着躺在一起,你把头枕在我的肩上,这真是我生活中最甜美的时刻,我真不敢想像!
博奇
1918年2月7日
John Murry
To
7 February; 1918
My precious;
Your Sunday(Feb 3) letter came this morning。 Somehow it told me more nearly what you felt; and how you were; than any letter you have written me。 Perhaps that was because I feel exactly the things you feel。 I too have two motives for writing—happiness and a despairing “cry against corruption”。 The absolute exactness of identity between this last and my own motives struck me profoundly; rather as though I had been on the point of crying out; and you had cried instead—the miraculous; unearthly feeling of plete munion。
And I don't need to tell you that I fear the war: it is like a plague; or some great monster waiting。 Alone; I feel helpless,(at best) fatalistic。 when we are together I feel that we have such virtue in us that we shall; somehow; be able to withstand it。 But being apart it's no good; no good at all。
I wish I knew something definite; whether you will be able to manage to persuade the Consulate。 I feel that you will; but until I really know; I shall be anxious still。
I don't know what to say; my Wig。 I'm not depressed; I'm not happy。 I seem to be in a sort of limbo where everything is halfandhalf; quite obviously; there is only half of me here。 I was quite calm and deliberate and sober when I said; the other day; that my soul had left me to nestle with you。 It seems to be such a simple matter of fact。
I think it is a very good thing that I am working hard。 I mistrust myself when I am left alone and writing articles eases the strain。 Without it I should be rushing from deep depression to a sort of hysterical nonchalance; and that would perhaps break something。
But how glad; unutterably glad; I am that you are ing back。 The sweetest part of my life now is when I think of us sitting together in the kitchen eating; of us lying together in each others arms; with your head on my shoulder。 I dare not think。
Boge。
波西·比希·雪莱致玛丽·戈德温
波西·比希· 雪莱(1792—1822),英国著名浪漫主义诗人。他出身乡村地主家庭,20岁入牛津大学,因写反宗教的哲学论文被学校开除。后又因写诗歌鼓动英国人民革命及支持爱尔兰民族民主运动,被迫于1818年流亡意大利。在意大利,他仍积极支持意大利人民的民族解放斗争,1822年,渡海遇风暴,不幸因船沉溺死。
雪莱是同拜伦齐名的欧洲著名浪漫主义诗人,其作品热情而富有哲理,诗风自由不羁,常随天地、时空、精怪往来变幻驰骋,又惯用梦幻象征手法和远古神话题材。其优秀作品有《西风颂》、《解放了的普罗米修斯》等。
我最亲爱的玛丽:
我们于昨夜12点钟到达这里,现在是次日上午早饭前的时间,由于初来乍到,我当然不知道以后会怎样。虽然我不会直到邮递时间才将信封口,但我不知道它何时会被送到。如果你仍然很不耐烦,那就继续往下看吧。没准你会在后面发现我又签了一个日期,说不定我有些要事需要补充……不过时间紧迫,我现在要去银行为你的旅程寄点路费,把这钱汇到佛罗伦萨市邮局。请赶快到埃斯特来,我将在这里十分焦急地等着你来。你一收到这封信,就能打点行李了,第二天再接着整理……你不在这里,我只有自行决定了。
我这样做实在是再好不过了——我亲爱的玛丽,你一定要马上来,如果我有差错你就埋怨我;如果我做得好就吻吻我,因为我确实不知道对错与否——你一来就都知道了。至少我们会省去介绍朋友的麻烦;我们已经与一位女士相识,她这么好,这么漂亮,如天使般温柔,要是她也这么聪明,那她简直就是一位——她长着一双酷似你的眼睛,她的行为像你一样,符合在你结识并喜欢上一个人时的标准。
我的最爱,你知道,我是怎样写这封信的吗?断断续续地拼凑而成,而且总被人打断。现在小船来接我去银行了。埃斯特是个小地方,找到我们住的房子并不难。据我估计,你收到这封信要四天,一天收拾行装,四天到达这里——这样,过个十天八天我们就能见面。
邮寄这封信已经太迟了,但我寄的快件可以赶上它。信中附有一张五十英镑的汇票。但愿你明白我所做的一切!我的最爱,你要保重身体,快乐些,快点来到我的身边。
你永恒的挚爱:
波西·比西·雪莱
1818年8月23日星期日上午
于巴尼·地·路卡村
代我吻吻我们蓝眼睛的小宝宝,别让威廉忘了我,克拉肯定把我忘了。
Percy Bysshe Shelley
To
Bagni di Lucca;
Sunday morning; Aug。 23rd;1818
My dearest Mary;
We arrived here last night at twelve o'clock; and it is now before breakfast the next morning。 I can of course tell you nothing of the future; and though I shall not close this letter till posttime; yet I do not know exactly when that is。 Yet; if you are still very impatient; look along the letter; and you will see another date; when I may have something to relate… Well; but the time presses。 I am now going to the banker's to send you money for the journey; which I shall address to you at Florence; Post Office。 Pray e instantly to Este; where I shall be waiting in the utmost anxiety for your arrival。 You can pack up directly you get this letter; and employ the next day on that… I have been obliged to decide on all these questions without you。
I have done for the best—and; my own beloved Mary; you must soon e and scold me; if I have done wrong; and kiss me; if I have done right; for I am sure I don't know which—and it is only the event that can show。 We shall at least be saved the trouble of introductions; and have formed acquaintances with a lady who is so good; so beautiful; so angelically mild;