《美丽英文(散文卷)》

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美丽英文(散文卷)- 第17节


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童  年(1)
'俄国'列夫·托尔斯泰
  ■
  列夫·托尔斯泰(1828—1910),19世纪俄国伟大的作家。托尔斯泰以自传体小说《童年》《少年》一举成名。长篇小说《战争与和平》是托尔斯泰创作历程中的第一个里程碑,是一部具有史诗和编年史特色的鸿篇巨制。长篇小说《安娜·卡列尼娜》是托尔斯泰第二部里程碑式的巨著,他晚期作品中著名的长篇小说《复活》也是世界文学宝库中不朽名著之一。
  快乐的,快乐的,不再回来的童年时代啊!怎能不让我珍视对你的回忆呢?这些回忆让我精神亢奋、心灵愉悦,是我无限乐趣的源泉。
  有时,我会回忆起流逝的岁月。那时跑不动了,我就在茶桌旁那把高背安乐椅上安逸地坐下来;夜深了,我就喝光所有的牛奶,迷迷糊糊地合上眼睛,静坐在那儿聆听着妈妈在同什么人说话,她的声音是那么婉转优美!那声音不停地在我的心灵深处荡漾,让我想起那段美妙的时光。我用迷糊的睡眼渴望地看着妈妈的脸。忽然,妈妈的身影逐渐变小,她的面孔缩小成了一个小黑点;可是,我依然可以看到她,她笑眯眯地瞥了我一眼。不知什么缘故,我喜欢看见妈妈变得这么小的样子。我眨了眨双眼,她的样子变得和瞳人里的小孩儿一样大了。后来我被惊醒了,画面也不见了。我眨眨眼睛,举目四望,努力想使梦中的景象再现,却一点也想不起来了。我本想站起来,却又马上惬意地靠在安乐椅上。
  “你又睡着了,尼古拉斯,”妈妈对我说,“你还是上楼去睡比较好。”
  “我不想睡,妈妈,”我蒙蒙眬眬地叨念,我心里装的都是那些迷幻而幸福的梦想。还是小孩的我抵挡不住那浓浓的睡意,眼皮慢慢合了起来,刹那间就来到了沉沉的梦乡,直到最终被人唤醒。蒙眬间,我觉得有人用手在轻轻地抚摩我,这种触摸的感觉告诉我,是妈妈的手。睡梦中的我情不自禁地拉住那只手,把它牢牢地按在嘴唇上。所有的人都已经离开,客厅里只剩下一根燃烧的蜡烛。妈妈说,她要自己叫醒我。妈妈坐在我睡的那张椅子扶手上,用她那温暖的手抚摩着我的头发,用我熟悉的、暖人的声音在我耳边说:“起来吧,我的乖宝贝,该去睡觉了。”
  她不会因为任何人嫉妒的眼光而有丝毫犹疑:她根本不顾虑把她的全部温柔和慈爱赋予我。我合着眼,只是一次又一次地亲她的手。
  “起来吧,我的天使!”
  她的另外一只手搂住我的脖子。手指滑过我的脖子,让我觉得很痒。房间里没有一点声音,光线忽明忽暗,但这痒痒的感觉让我精神振奋,睡意全无。此刻;妈妈就坐在我的身边——这我感觉得到——充满爱意地抚摩着我;我听到她的声音,真实地感觉到了她的气息。我赶紧跳了起来,双手抱住妈妈的脖颈,把头钻进她的怀里,叹息了一声说道:“噢,亲爱的,亲爱的妈妈,我多么爱你呀!”
  妈妈露出忧郁而迷人的微笑,然后用双手托住我的头,亲亲我的前额,最后将我抱起来,让我坐在她的腿上。“这么说你十分爱我?”她停了片刻,随后说,“记住,你一定要永远爱我,永远不要忘了我。如果妈妈不在人世了,你不会忘掉她吧?尼古拉斯,你不会忘记吧?”她更加轻柔地亲我。“不,不要这么说,我亲爱的妈妈,我最亲爱的妈妈!”我喊了起来,使劲抱住她的双腿,爱和狂喜的泪水止不住地往下流。
  所有的事情都过去后,我回到楼上,虔诚地站在圣像前祷告:“主啊,求你祝福我的爸爸和妈妈。”这一刻我的心情是多么美好啊!幼稚的我重复着为亲爱的妈妈的祈祷——我对她的爱和对上帝的爱神奇地融合在了一起。
  说完祈祷词后我爬进被窝,心情是又轻快,又平和,又快乐。美梦接二连三,我梦见了什么呢?它们大都不合逻辑,然而,纯洁的爱和对幸福的向往却充溢在我的梦里。随后,我就把我宠爱的瓷玩具——一只小狗或者一只小兔——放到枕头后面的床角,看着它们如此安逸温暖地躺在那里,我就感到心满意足了。接着,我又祈祷,恳求上帝赐给大家幸福,让人们都心想事成,还恳求上帝让明天有个好天气,那样我们才能去散步;后来我翻了一下身,思绪和梦境交织混杂在一起;最后,我舒服地进入了梦乡,脸上还留着湿漉漉的泪水。 电子书 分享网站

童  年(2)
只有童年时代才会有朝气蓬勃、心无杂念的心情,对爱的向往和对信仰的坚定,在我们以后的人生岁月里真的还能得到吗?当天真的喜悦和对爱的无限渴求——这两种崇高的美德——成为生命中仅有的愿望,在我们的生命中,还会有比这更美妙的事物吗?那些衷心的祈祷现在在哪里?最珍贵的礼物——由情感激发的纯洁泪水——现在又在哪里呢?守护天使曾降临在我们周围,微笑着拭去那些眼泪,指引我们进入那充满无法形容的童真乐趣的甜蜜梦境。难道生活在我们的心头划过的伤痕,已经让那些泪水和欢乐永远远离我们了吗?难道剩下的只是对昔日的留恋了吗?
  Childhood
  Leo Tolstoy
  Happy; happy; never…returning time of childhood! How can we help loving and dwelling upon its recollections1? They cheer and elevate the soul; and bee to one a source of higher joys。
  Sometimes; when dreaming of bygone2 days; fancy that; tired out with running about; I have sat down in my high arm…chair by the tea…table。 It is late; and I have long since drunk my cup of milk。 My eyes are heavy with sleep as I sit there and listen。 How could I not listen; seeing that Mamma is speaking to somebody; and that the sound of her voice is so melodious and kind? How much its echoes recall to my heart! With my eyes veiled with drowsiness I gaze at her wistfully。 Suddenly she seems to grow smaller and smaller; and her face vanishes to a point; yet I can still see it—can still see her as she looks at me and smiles。 Somehow it pleases me to see her grown so small。 I blink and blink; yet she looks no larger than a boy reflected in the pupil of an eye。 Then I rouse myself; and the picture fades。 Once more I half…close my eyes; and cast about to try and recall the dream; but it has gone; I rise to my feet; only to fall back fortably into the armchair。
  “There! You are falling asleep again; little Nicolas;” says Mamma。 “You had better go to by…by。”
  “No; I won’t go to sleep; Mamma;” I reply; though almost inaudibly; for pleasant dreams are filling all my soul。 The sound sleep of childhood is weighing my eyelids down; and for a few moments。 I sink into slumber and oblivion until awakened by some one。 I feel in my sleep as though a soft hand were caressing me。 I know it by the touch; and; though still dreaming; I seize hold of it and press it to my lips。 Every one else has gone to bed; and only one candle remains burning in the drawing…room。 Mamma has said that she herself will wake me。 She sits down on the arm of the chair in which I am asleep; with her soft hand stroking my hair; and I hear her beloved; well…known voice say in my ear: “Get up; my darling。 It is time to go by…by。”
  No envious gaze sees her now。 She is not afraid to shed upon me the whole of her tenderness and love。 I do not wake up; yet I kiss and kiss her hand。
  “Get up; then; my angel。”
  She passes her other arm round my neck; and her fingers tickle me as they move across it。 The room is quiet and in half…darkness; but the tickling has touched my nerves and I begin to awake。 Mamma is sitting near me—that I can tell—and touching me; I can hear her voice and feel her presence。 This at last rouses me to spring up; to throw my arms around her neck; to hide my head in her bosom; and to say with a sigh:

童  年(3)
“Ah; dear; darling Mamma; how much I love you!”
  She smiles her sad; enchanting3 smile; takes my head between her two hands; kisses me on the forehead; and lifts me on to her lap。
  “Do you love me so much; then?” she says。 Then; after a few moments’ silence; she continues: “And you must love me always; and never forget me。 If your Mamma should no longer be here; will you promise never to forget her—never; Nicolinka?” and she kisses me more fondly than ever。
  “Oh; but you must not speak so; darling Mamma; my own darling Mamma!” I exclaim as I clasp her knees; and tears of joy and love fall from my eyes。
  How; after scenes like this! I would go upstairs; and stand before the icons; and say with a rapturous feeling; “God bless Papa and Mamma!” and repeat a prayer for my beloved mother which my childish lips had learnt to lisp—the love of God and other blending strangely in a single emotion!
  After saying my prayers I would wrap myself up in the bedclothes。 My heart would feel light; peaceful; and happy; and one dream would follow another。 Dreams of what? They were all of them vague; but all of them full of pure love and of a sort of expectation of happiness。 Usually; also; there would be some favorite toy—a china dog or the bedarner into the bed…corner behind the pillow; and it would please me to think how warm and fortable and well cared—for it was there。 Also; I would pray God to make everyone happy; so that every one might be contented; and also to send fine weather tomorrow for our walk。 Then I would turn myself over on to the other side; and thoughts and dreams would bee jumbled and entangled together until at last I slept soundly and peacefully; though with a face wet with tears。
  Do in after life the freshness and light…heartedness; the craving4 fo
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