s my home。
III
I am no botanist; but I have long found pleasure in herb…gathering。 I love to e upon a plant which is unknown to me; to identify it with the help of my book; to greet it by name when next it shines beside my path。 If the plant be rare; its discovery gives me joy。 Nature; the great Artist; makes her mon flowers in the mon view; no word in human language can express the marvel and the loveliness even of what we call the vulgarest weed; but these are fashioned under the gaze of every passer…by。 The rare flower is shaped apart; in places secret; in the Artist's subtler mood; to find it is to enjoy the sense of admission to a holier precinct。 Even in my gladness I am awed。
To…day I have walked far; and at the end of my walk I found the little white…flowered wood…ruff。 It grew in a copse of young ash。 When I had looked long at the flower; I delighted myself with the grace of the slim trees about it……their shining smoothness; their olive hue。 Hard by stood a bush of wych elm; its tettered bark; overlined as if with the character of some unknown tongue; made the young ashes yet more beautiful。
It matters not how long I wander。 There is no task to bring me back; no one will be vexed or uneasy; linger I ever so late。 Spring is shining upon these lanes and meadows; I feel as if I must follow every winding track that opens by my way。 Spring has restored to me something of the long…forgotten vigour of youth; I walk without weariness; I sing to myself like a boy; and the song is one I knew in boyhood。
That reminds me of an incident。 Near a hamlet; in a lonely spot by a woodside; I came upon a little lad of perhaps ten years old; who; his head hidden in his arms against a tree trunk; was crying bitterly。 I asked him what was the matter; and; after a little trouble……he was better than a mere bumpkin……I learnt that; having been sent with sixpence to pay a debt; he had lost the money。 The poor little fellow was in a state of mind which in a grave man would be called the anguish of despair; he must have been crying for a long time; every muscle in his face quivered as if under torture; his limbs shook; his eyes; his voice; uttered such misery as only the vilest criminal should be made to suffer。 And it was because he had lost sixpence!
I could have shed tears with him……tears of pity and of rage at all this spectacle implied。 On a day of indescribable glory; when earth and heaven shed benedictions upon the soul of man; a child; whose nature would have bidden him rejoice as only childhood may; wept his heart out because his hand had dropped a sixpenny piece! The loss was a very serious one; and he knew it; he was less afraid to face his parents; than overe by misery at the thought of the harm he had done them。 Sixpence dropped by the wayside; and a whole family made wretched! What are the due descriptive terms for a state of 〃civilization〃 in which such a thing as this is possible?
I put my hand into my pocket; and wrought sixpennyworth of miracle。
It took me half an hour to recover my quiet mind。 After all; it is as idle to rage against man's fatuity as to hope that he will ever be less a fool。 For me; the great thing was my sixpenny miracle。 Why; I have known the day when it would have been beyond my power altogether; or else would have cost me a meal。 Wherefore; let me again be glad and thankful。
IV
There was a time in my life when; if I had suddenly been set in the position I now enjoy; conscience would have lain in ambush for me。 What! An ine sufficient to support three or four working…class families……a house all to myself……things beautiful wherever I turn…… and absolutely nothing to do for it all! I should have been hard put to it to defend myself。 In those days I was feelingly reminded; hour by hour; with what a struggle the obscure multitudes manage to keep alive。 Nobody kno parvo liceat producere vitam。 I have hungered in the streets; I have laid my head in the poorest shelter; I know what it is to feel the heart burn with wrath and envy of 〃the privileged classes。〃 Yes; but all that time I was one of 〃the privileged〃 myself; and now I can accept a recognized standing among them without shadow of self…reproach。
It does not mean that my larger sympathies are blunted。 By going to certain places; looking upon certain scenes; I could most effectually destroy all the calm that life has brought me。 If I hold apart and purposely refuse to look that way; it is because I believe that the world is better; not worse; for having one more inhabitant who lives as bees a civilized being。 Let him whose soul prompts him to assail the iniquity of things; cry and spare not; let him who has the vocation go forth and bat。 In me it would be to err from Nature's guidance。 I know; if I know anything; that I am made for the life of tranquillity and meditation。 I know that only thus can such virtue as I possess find scope。 More than half a century of existence has taught me that most of the wrong and folly which darken earth is due to those who cannot possess their souls in quiet; that most of the good which saves mankind from destruction es of life that is led in thoughtful stillness。 Every day the world grows noisier; I; for one; will have no part in that increasing clamour; and; were it only by my silence; I confer a boon on all。
How well would the revenues of a country be expended; if; by mere pensioning; one…fifth of its population could be induced to live as I do!
V
〃Sir;〃 said Johnson; 〃all the arguments which are brought to represent poverty as no evil; show it to be evidently a great evil。 You never find people labouring to convince you that you may live very happily upon a plentiful fortune。〃
He knew what he was talking of; that rugged old master of mon sense。 Poverty is of course a relative thing; the term has reference; above all; to one's standing as an intellectual being。 If I am to believe the newspapers; there are title…bearing men and women in England who; had they an assured ine of five…and…twenty; shillings per week; would have no right to call themselves poor; for their intellectual needs are those of a stable…boy or scullery wench。 Give me the same ine and I can live; but I am poor indeed。
You tell me that money cannot buy the things most precious。 Your monplace proves that you have never known the lack of it。 When I think of all the sorrow and the barrenness that has been wrought in my life by want of a few more pounds per annum than I was able to earn; I stand aghast at money's significance。 What kindly joys have I lost; those simple forms of happiness to which every heart has claim; because of poverty! Meetings with those I loved made impossible year after year; sadness; misunderstanding; nay; cruel alienation; arising from inability to do the things I wished; and which I might have done had a little money helped me; endless instances of homely pleasure and contentment curtailed or forbidden by narrow means。 I have lost friends merely through the constraints of my position; friends I might have made have remained strangers to me; solitude of the bitter kind; the solitude which is enforced at times when mind or heart longs for panionship; often cursed my life solely because I was poor。 I think it would scarce be an exaggeration to say that there is no moral good which has not to be paid for in coin of the realm。
〃Poverty;〃 said Johnson again; 〃is so great an evil; and pregnant with so much temptation; so much misery; that I cannot but earnestly enjoin you to avoid it。〃
For my own part; I needed no injunction to that effort of avoidance。 Many a London garret knows how I struggled with the unwele chamber…fellow。 I marvel she did not abide with me to the end; it is a sort of inconsequence in Nature; and sometimes makes me vaguely uneasy through nights of broken sleep。
VI
How many more springs can I hope to see? A sanguine temper would say ten or twelve; let me dare to hope humbly for five or six。 That is a great many。 Five or six spring…times; weled joyously; lovingly watched from the first celandine to the budding of the rose; who shall dare to call it a stinted boon? Five or six times the miracle of earth reclad; the vision of splendour and loveliness which tongue has never yet described; set before my gazing。 To th