of the work she had done and the heart…pounding fright； that she could hardly focus her eyes anymore。 Her shoulder hurt where the lance had been couched when it was shattered。 The muscles in her left leg jittered with the effort of keeping her standing。
She was also mentally exhausted。 Anxiety； over not only the enormity of her decision to take it upon herself to call all the Midlands into war； but also over her impassioned plea for these men to lay down their lives on her word； eroded her strength further。 Despite the unusual warmth of the day； she shivered inside her fur mantle。
Captain Ryan stepped over to her。 Chandalen； Prindin； and Tossidin were standing by the rear of the wagon； watching。
Captain Ryan gave her a sly smile。 ‘I like it。’
He jumped down and held his hand out for her。 She ignored the hand and jumped down as he had done； and by luck more than anything； stayed on her feet。 She could not accept his offer of help； not now； not with what she was about to do。
‘And now； Captain； I must give you an order you are not going to like。’ She looked to his blue eyes。 ‘I want you to send men after Mosle and those who went with him。 Send enough to be sure to acplish the deed。’
‘Deed？’
They must be killed。 Send a force with instructions that they are to pretend to join with Mosle’s men； so they don’t scatter when your men approach。 Send your cavalry behind； but out of sight； in case they’re able to take to the woods。 When they are surrounded； kill them。 There are seventy…six。 Count the bodies to make sure they are all dead。 I will be very displeased if even one escapes。’
His eyes were wide。 ‘But Mother Confessor 。。。’
‘I take no pleasure in this； Captain。 You have your orders。’ She turned to the three Mud People。 ‘Prindin； go with the men he picks。 Make sure those who departed are killed to a man。’
Prindin gave her a grim nod。 He understood the unpleasant necessity of what she was doing。
Captain Ryan tensed in near panic。 ‘Mother Confessor 。。。 I know those men。 They’ve been with us a long time。 You said they were free to go！ We can’t。。。’
She laid a hand on his arm。 He suddenly recognized the threat that represented。 ‘I am doing what I must to save your lives。 You have given your word to follow orders。’ She leaned a little closer。 ‘Do not add yourself to those seventy…six。’
He at last gave a nod and she removed her hand。 His eyes told it all。 Hate radiated from him。
‘I didn’t know the killing was to start with our own men；’ he whispered。
‘It does not。 It starts with the enemy。’
Captain Ryan pointed angrily up the pass。 ‘They’re going in the opposite direction of the Order！’
‘And did you think they would go to the enemy in plain sight of you？ They intend to circle around。’ She turned and started off toward a tent that had been left up for her。
Captain Ryan； trailed by Chandalen； Prindin； and Tos…sidin； followed her； unwilling to concede。 ‘If you were so concerned； why did you let them go！ Why didn’t you let the men kill them when they would have！’
‘Because I had to give all those who would renounce us and abandon their fellows the chance to do so。’
‘What makes you think all the ‘traitors’ departed？ There could be spies； or assassins； among us。’
‘Yes； there could be。 But I have no evidence of that at the moment。 If I find there are； I will have to deal with them then。’
Kahlan came to a stop before the tent。 ‘If you think I may be making a mistake about those men； I assure you； I am not。 But even if I were； it is a price that must be paid。 If we let them go； and even one of them betrays us； we could all be killed in a trap tonight。 If we die； there will be none to stop the Order for a long time。 How many thousands would die then； Captain？ If those men are innocent； I’ll have made a terrible mistake； and seventy…six innocent men will die。 If I’m right； I will be saving the lives of untold thousands of innocent people。
‘You have your orders。 Carry them out。’
Captain Ryan shook with rage。 ‘I hope you don’t expect me to ever forgive you for this。’
‘No； I don’t。 I expect only that you follow my orders。 I don’t care if you hate me； Captain。 I care only that you live to do so。’
He gritted his teeth in mute frustration。
Kahlan gripped the tent flap。 ‘Captain； I’m so tired I can hardly stand。 I need to get a couple of hours’ sleep。 I want a guard posted around this tent while I rest。’
He glared at her。 ‘And how can you be sure one of them might not be an enemy？ They could kill you in your sleep。’
That’s a possibility。 But if that happens； one of these three men would avenge my murder。’
Captain Ryan flinched and glanced at the three Mud People。 In his anger； he had forgotten they were there。
Chandalen lifted an eyebrow to him。 ‘I will first put sticks in his eyes； to hold them open； to be sure he sees what I do。’
Lieutenant Hobson rushed up； holding a bowl out in his hands。 ‘Mother Confessor； I brought you some stew。 I thought you would like something to eat。 Something hot。’
Kahlan forced herself to smile at him。 ‘Thank you； Lieutenant； but I’m so tired I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to keep it down。 Could you keep it warm； until after I’ve rested？’
‘Of course； Mother Confessor。’
Captain Ryan’s glare slid to his grinning lieutenant。 ‘I have a job for you； Hobson。’
Two hours；’ Kahlan said； ‘and then wake me。 You should all have enough to keep you busy in the meantime。’
She pulled the flap aside and went into the tent； nearly collapsing onto the cot。 She drew a blanket over her legs； and lifted the fur mantle over her head； shutting out the light。 In her small； private darkness； she shook。
She would have given her life； right then； to have Richard hold her for just five minutes。
CHAPTER 41
She was kissing Richard； holding him tightly in her arms； her mind filled with no thought but peace and joy； when she started at the sound of shouting。 Richard was gone。 Her heavy arms were empty。
She sat up； pushing the blanket away； frantic for an instant； not knowing where she was； and then she remembered。 She felt as if she might vomit。
She wished she could have a hot bath。 She couldn’t remember her last bath。 She rubbed her eyes as Captain Ryan stuck his head inside the tent。
‘How long？’ Kahlan mumbled。 ‘How long have I slept？’ She threw the blanket aside。
‘A couple hours； just about。 There is someone out here for you。’
Directly outside her tent waited a group of men； an ashen…faced Lieutenant Hobson among them。 In their midst stood Mosle； bound and gagged and held at each arm by soldiers。 His eyes darted about in panic。 He tried to shout through the gag； but couldn’t make himself understood。
Kahlan glowered over at Captain Ryan。
He stood with one thumb hooked in his belt。 ‘I thought； Mother Confessor； that you would want to execute this man yourself。 Since he seems to have personally offended you so。’ He held his knife out toward her； handle first。
Kahlan ignored the knife and turned instead to the men holding Mosle。 ‘Release him； and stand away。’
She felt as if she were still in a sleep； still in a dream。 But she wasn’t。 There was no option。
As they stepped back； she reached out and snatched Mosle by his arm。 He froze in fright for an instant； and then tried to back away。
But he had no time to escape。 She was touching him now。 He was hers。 Her sleepiness vanished in a sucking rush as her power ignited。 She gave no thought to what she was about to do； there was no choice。 She was mitted。 She gave herself over to it。
The sounds of the camp … the jangle of tack； the grating of wooden boxes being skidded across wagon beds； the splintering of other boxes being pried open； the squeak of wheels； the whinnies of horses； the sound of thousands of feet shuffling； men talking； the clop of hooves； the sound of steel being sharpened； the popping of wood in fires； and the sound of her own heart beating … all faded