ry I am for what I did to you。’
‘I saw the look in your eyes。 You wanted to kill me。’
He watched from under his eyebrows。 ‘I had to do that； Mother Confessor。 。。。’
‘Kahlan。 I told you； I am no longer the Mother Confessor。’
‘Call yourself what you will； but you are who you are。 Denying the name does not make it so。 And as I told you； I had to do that； too。 To bring on a death spell； the person to be spelled has to be convinced they are to die； or it will not work。
‘Once the anger brought back my memory； I knew I had to use a death spell； so I simply used what was happening to do what had to be done。 It was an act of desperation。 Had I not done it in that way； people would not have believed they saw you beheaded。’
Kahlan shuddered at the memory of that magic。 As long as she lived； she would never forget the chill touch of the death spell。
‘You should have used magic to destroy that council of evil； instead。 You should have saved me by killing those men。’
‘And then everyone would have known you were still alive。 Everyone there was under the madness of hate。 Had I done that； then we would have had the entire army； and tens of thousands of people； chasing after us。 This way； no one chases us。 We can now proceed with what must be done。’
‘You can proceed。 I have quit the cause of the good spirits。’
‘Kahlan； you know what would happen if we were to give up。 It was you yourself； last autumn； who came to Westland to find me and tell me that very thing。 You helped convince me that if we abandon the side of magic； of right； of helping those who are powerless； then the enemy is handed an uncon…tested victory。’
The spirits saw fit to leave me without help。 They stood by as I delivered Richard into the hands of the Sisters of the Light； they let me hurt him； let him be taken from me forever。 The good spirits have chosen their side； and it is not with me。’
‘It is not the good spirits’ job to govern the world of the living。 It is our job； the job of the living； to tend our own world。’
‘Tell it to someone who cares。’
‘You care。 You just don’t realize it at the moment。 I’ve lost Richard； too； but I know that I cannot allow that to deter me from right。 Do you think Richard would love you if you were really the kind of person who could abandon those who needed your help？’
She said nothing； so he pressed the attack。
‘Richard loves you partly because of your passion for life。 He loves you because you fight for it with everything you have； with the same ardor as his。 You have already proven that。’
‘He was the only thing I ever wanted out of life； the only thing I asked the good spirits for。 And look what I have done to him。 He thinks I betrayed him。 I made him put a collar around his neck； the thing he feared more than death。 I am not fit to help anyone。 I only bring harm。’
‘Kahlan； you have magic。 I have told you； magic must not be allowed to die。 The world of life needs magic。 If magic is extinguished； all life will be impoverished； and could even be destroyed。
‘No one knows about the forces we have。 We will go to Ebinissia； no one will expect that； and pull the Midlands forces together from there to strike back against them。 No one will know we have brought Ebinissia back from the ashes of death。’
‘All right！ If it will still your tongue； I will be the queen。 But only until Cyrilla is better。’
The fire crackled and popped。 Zedd spoke in quiet admonition。 ‘You know that is not what I mean； Mother Confessor。’
Kahlan said nothing。 She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from crying。 She would not let him see her cry。
The wizards of old created the Confessors。 You have unique magic。 It has elements to it that no other magic has； not even mine。 Kahlan； you are the last Confessor。 Your magic must not be allowed to die with you。 Richard is lost to us。 That’s the way it is。 We must go on。 Life； and magic； must go on。
‘You must take a mate and give the world that magic into the future。’
Still； she stared into the flames。
‘Kahlan；’ he whispered； ‘you must do it to prove Richard’s love and faith in you。’
Slowly； she turned to the room behind。 Orsk sat cross…legged on the floor； beside Chandalen。 Only he looked at her； with his one eye； the scar across the other looking white and angry in the firelight。 He watched every move she made。 Everyone else in the room tried to appear furiously engaged in their own business。
‘Orsk；’ she called。
The huge man sprang to his feet and crossed the room。 He stood hunched before her； waiting word whether he was to fetch her a cup of tea； or kill someone。
‘Orsk； go up to my room and wait for me。’
‘Yes； Mistress。’
After he had bounded up the stairs； she slowly crossed the room。 She could hear the bed creak when he sat on it； to wait。
As she put her hand to the newel post； Zedd put his over it； stopping her。 ‘Mother Confessor； it does not have to be him。 You can surely find one more suited to your likes。’
‘It makes no difference。 I have already touched him with my power。 Why harm another； for no more than this？’
‘Kahlan； I’m not saying it has to be now。 Not this soon。 I am saying only that you must e to accept it； and at some point it must be。’
‘Today； tomorrow； next year。 What does it matter？ It will be the same in ten years as it is today。 Wizards have been using the Confessors for thousands of years。 Why should I be any different？ I may as well get it over so you will be content。’
His watery gaze stayed on hers。 ‘Kahlan； it’s not like that。 This is the hope of life。’
She felt a tear roll down her cheek。 She could see the pain in his eyes； but she showed him no mercy for it。
‘Call it what you will。 That does not change what it is。 It is rape。 My enemies could not acplish it； it took my friends to rape me。’
‘I know； dear one。 How well I know。’
She started up the stairs again； but his hand on her arm stopped her。
‘Kahlan； please； do just one thing for me first？ Go for a little walk to think things over； and ask the spirits for guidance。 Pray to the good spirits； seek their direction。’
‘I have nothing to say to the good spirits。 It is they who wish this； they have sent you； to give me ‘guidance。’’
His thin hand stroked her short…cropped hair。 Then do it for Richard。’
She stood staring at him。 Finally； she glanced out the back door； to the small； frozen garden at the back of the inn。 It was just dusk outside。
Kahlan stepped down。 ‘For Richard。’
CHAPTER 70
Richard sat in Kahlan’s tall chair； stroking the long locks of her hair。 He had pulled them out of his shirt； not wanting to stab himself through her hair。 He didn’t know how long he had been sitting there； touching her hair； lost in memories of her； but he noticed it was just turning dark out the windows。
Richard laid the hair carefully over the arm of the chair； and picked up the knife once more。 In a daze of anguish； he put the point to his heart。 His knuckles were white around the handle。
It was time。
At last it was going to be over。 The pain would end。
His brow creased。 What was it Mistress Sanderholt had said？ Kahlan had told her of him？ He wondered if Kahlan had told Mistress Sanderholt anything else。 Maybe a last message for him； before she died。 What could it hurt to ask？ He could die； then。
Richard pulled Mistress Sanderholt from her kitchen； into a small pantry lined with stores。 He closed the door。
‘What have you done； Richard？’
‘I killed her murderers。’
‘Well； I can’t say I’m sorry about that。 Those men did not belong on the council。 Let me get you something to eat？’
‘No。 I don’t want anything。 Mistress Sanderholt； you said Kahlan told you of me。 Is that right？’
She didn’t look like she wished to dredge up the memories； but at last she took a deep breath and nodded。 ‘She came home； but things had changed here。 Kelton had 。。。’
‘I don’t care what happened here； just tell me