tg.stone of tears- 第39节

　
　‘I　would　rather　die　than　put　a　collar　around　my　neck　again。’
　
　Kahlan　rubbed　her　shoulder。　It　felt　just　as　he　had　described　it。　She　couldn’t　think　of　anything　to　say。　She　hurt　too　much；　inside；　to　say　anything。　So　she　sat　and　watched　him　look　at　the　fire　as　tears　ran　down　her　face。　She　ached　for　him。
　
　And　then　she　heard　herself　ask　something　she　had　promised　herself　she　wasn’t　ever　going　to　ask。　‘Denna　took　you　for　her　mate；　didn’t　she。’　She　wished　she　could　call　the　words　back；　and　at　the　same　time；　she　didn’t。
　
　Richard　didn’t　flinch。　‘Yes；’　he　whispered　as　he　stared　at　the　fire。　Another　tear　ran　down　his　cheek。　‘How　did　you　know？’
　
　‘Demmin　Nass　brought　two　quads　to　take　me。　He　had　a　spell…web　from　Darken　Rahl　to　protect　him　from　Zedd’s　magic。　From　mine　too。　Zedd　couldn’t　do　anything；　he　was　frozen　by　a　web。　Demmin　Nass　told　me　what　had　happened　to　you。　He　said　you　were　dead。　That　was　when　I　called　forth　the　Con　Dar　and　killed　him。’
　
　Richard’s　eyes　closed　as　another　tear　ran　down。　There　was　no　way　for　me　to　stop　her。　I　swear；　Kahlan　。。。　I　tried。　You　can’t　imagine　what　Denna　did　to　me　for　trying　to　stop　her。　There　was　no　way　for　me　to　fight　back。　She　could　do　anything　she　wanted。　It　wasn’t　enough　for　her　to　hurt　me　just　in　the　day。　She　wanted　to　hurt　me　at　night；　too。’
　
　‘How　can　anyone　be　that　evil？’
　
　Richard　stared　at　the　Agiel　as　he　slowly　grasped　it　in　his　fist　again。　‘She　was　captured　when　she　was　twelve。　They　trained　her　with　this　Agiel。　This　very　one。　Everything　she　did　to　me；　they　had　done　to　her。　Over　and　over。　For　years。　They　tortured　her　parents　to　death　in　front　of　her。　There　was　no　one　to　help　her。
　
　‘She　grew　into　a　woman　at　the　end　of　this　Agiel；　surrounded　only　by　people　who　wanted　her　to　hurt。　There　was　no　one　to　give　her　even　a　single　word　of　hope；　of　fort；　of　love。
　
　‘Can　you　imagine　her　terror？　They　gave　her　a　life　of　endless　pain。　They　raped　her　body　and　her　spirit。　They　broke　her。　They　made　her　one　of　them。　Darken　Rahl；　personally；　made　her　one　of　them。
　
　The　whole　time　she　used　this　Agiel　on　me；　it　hurt　her。　The　same　as　it　hurts　me　to　hold　it　now。　There’s　some　magic　for　you。
　
　‘One　day；　Darken　Rahl　beat　her；　for　hours；　because　he　thought　she　wasn’t　hurting　me　enough。　He　flailed　the　skin　right　off　her　back。’
　
　Richard’s　head　hung　as　he　cried。　And　then　at　the　end　of　all　that；　at　the　end　of　a　life　of　pain　and　madness；　I　e　along；　turn　the　Sword　of　Truth　white；　and　run　it　through　her。　The　only　thing　she　asked　before　I　killed　her　was　for　me　to　wear　her　Agiel　and　remember　her。　I　was　the　only　one　who　understood　her　pain。　It　was　the　only　thing　she　wanted：　for　someone　who　understood　to　remember　her。
　
　‘I　promised；　and　she　hung　it　around　my　neck。　And　then　she　just　sat　there　as　I　pushed　my　sword　through　her　heart。　She　had　been　hoping　I　would　be　the　one　with　the　power　to　kill　her。
　
　‘That　is　how　someone　can　be　that　evil。　If　I　had　the　power；　I　would　bring　Darken　Rahl　back　to　life　so　I　could　kill　him　again。’
　
　Kahlan　sat　stunned；　motionless；　caught　in　a　vortex　of　conflicting　emotions。　She　hated　this　Denna　for　hurting　Richard；　she　was　unaccountably　jealous　of　her；　and　at　the　same　time；　she　felt　unexpected；　wrenching　sorrow　for　her。　Finally；　she　turned　away　and　wiped　the　tears　from　her　face。
　
　‘Richard；　why　didn’t　they　win？　Why　wasn’t　Denna　able　to　break　you？　How　did　you　keep　your　sanity？’
　
　‘Because；　as　the　Sisters　said；　I　partitioned　my　mind。　I　don’t　know　how　to　explain　it。　I　didn’t　even　know　exactly　what　it　was　I　was　doing；　but　that’s　how　I　saved　myself。　I　put　the　core　of　myself　away　and　sacrificed　the　rest。　I　let　her　do　what　she　would。　Darken　Rahl　said　that　I　have　the　gift　because　I　did　that。　That　was　when　I　first　heard　the　word　…　partitioned。’
　
　Richard　lay　back；　resting　his　arm　over　his　eyes。　Kahlan　pulled　out　a　blanket　and　bunched　it　under　his　head。　‘I’m　so　sorry；　Richard；’　she　whispered。
　
　‘It’s　over。　That　is　what　matters。’　He　took　his　arm　from　his　eyes　and　at　last　smiled　up　at　her。　‘It’s　over　and　we　are　together。　In　some　ways；　it　was　good。　If　she　hadn’t　taught　me；　I　wouldn’t　be　able　to　deal　with　this　headache。　Maybe　Denna　has　helped　me。　Maybe　I　can　use　what　I　know　to　get　out　of　this。’
　
　She　winced　in　sympathy。　‘Is　it　really　bad　right　now？’
　
　He　nodded　a　little。　‘But　I’ll　die　before　I　ever　put　a　collar　around　my　neck　again。’
　
　She　understood　now；　though　she　wished　she　didn’t。　She　lay　down　snug　against　him。　The　fire　was　a　watery　blur。
　
　
　CHAPTER　11
　
　The　next　day　the　sky　was　a　cold　gray　and　the　wind　icy　as　the　two　of　them　went　out　alone　on　the　plain。　Richard　wanted　to　be　away　from　people；　away　from　buildings。　He　wanted　to　see　the　sky　and　the　earth；　he　said。　The　brown　grass　bowed　in　the　stiff　gusts　that　flapped　and　tugged　their　cloaks　as　they　walked　along　in　silence。　Richard　wanted　to　shoot　his　bow　to　make　the　headache　go　away　for　a　while。　Kahlan　just　wanted　to　be　with　him。
　
　It　seemed　that　the　eternity；　which　a　few　days　ago　she　had　felt　belonged　to　them；　was　slipping　through　her　fingers。　She　wanted　to　fight　back；　but　didn’t　know　how。　Everything　that　was　so　right　was　suddenly　going　wrong。
　
　She　didn’t　think　that　Richard　would　put　on　the　Rada’Han；　the　collar；　no　matter　what　the　Sisters　said。　He　might　accept　learning　to　use　the　gift；　but　she　didn’t　think　he　would　wear　a　collar。　And　if　he　didn’t；　he　would　die。　After　what　he　had　told　her　…　and　worse；　the　things　she　knew　he　hadn’t　…　how　could　she　expect　him　to　wear　it？　Or　ask　him　to？
　
　It　did　feel　good；　though；　to　be　away　from　the　village；　away　from　people　and　away　from　Chandalen’s　eyes　following　them　everywhere。　How　could　she　blame　him？　It　did　seem　as　if　the　two　of　them　kept　bringing　trouble；　but　it　irritated　her　that　he　acted　as　if　they　did　it　on　purpose。　She　was　tired　of　trouble。　It　seemed　as　if　it　would　never　end。　Well；　she　decided；　for　today；　at　least；　they　would　be　away　from　trouble；　and　just　enjoy　being　together。
　
　Kahlan　had　told　him　she　used　to　shoot　a　bow。　She　couldn’t　draw　his　because　it　was　too　heavy；　so　Richard　encouraged　her　to　borrow　one　and　bring　it　along　so　he　could　teach　her　how　to　shoot　better。　They　found　the　bundled　grass　targets　the　men　had　set　up　before；　standing　head　high　like　a　group　of　scarecrows　on　guard　over　the　vast；　flat　grassland。　A　few　even　had　balled　grass　for　heads。　Each　had　an　X　made　of　grass　for　a　target。　The　targets　with　heads　had　an　X　there　as　well。　Richard　thought　the　Xs　were　too　fat；　so　he　took　them　off　and　made　ones　of　single　grass　stalks。
　
　They　stood　a　long　way　off；　so　far；　in　fact；　that　she　could　hardly　see　the　bundled　grass；　much　less　the　Xs。　Richard　strapped　on　a　simple　leather　bracer　Savidlin　had　made　for　him　along　with　the　bow；　and　shot　arrows　until　his　headache　was　gone。
　
　Richard　was　a　picture　of　stillness；　of　smoothness；　he　was　one　with　the　bow。　She　smiled　at　how　good　he　looked；　and　that　he　was　hers。　It　made　her　heart　ache　with　joy　to　see　his　gray　eyes　sparkle　without　the　pain　of　the　headache　in　them。　They　moved　closer　so　she　could　shoot。
　
　‘Don’t　you　want　to　go　check　where　your　arrows　hit？’
　
　He　smiled。　‘I　know　where　they　hit。　You　shoot　now。’
　
　She　shot　a　few　arrows；　getting　the　feel　again。　He　set　one　end　of　his　bow　on　the　ground；　rested　both　hands　over　the　other　end；　and　watched　her。　She　had　been　a　girl　the　last　time　she　used　a　bow。　Richard　watched　her　shoot　a　few　more　times；　and　then　came　and　stood　behind　her。　His　arms　came　around　her；　and　he　adjusted　her　hand　on　the　bow　and　put　his　fingers　on　the　string。
　
　‘Here。　Do　this。　You　can’t　get　any　power　or　be　steady　enough　holding　the　arrow　with　your　thumb　and　the　knuckle　of　your　first　finger　that　way。　Hold　the　bowstring　back　with　your　first　three　fingers；　like　this；　nesting　the　arrow　between　the　first　two。　And　pull　with　your　shoulder　too。　You　don’t　need　to　pull　on　the　arrow；　just　concentrate　on　holding　back　the　string。　The　arrow　will　take　care　of　itself。　See？　Isn’t　that　better？’
　
　She　grinned。　‘It　is　with　your　arms　around　me。’
　
　‘Pay　attention　to　what　you’re　doing；’　he　scolded。
　
　Kahlan　took　aim　and　shot。