Do you hope for a legacy？'
'I told you； he is a great friend。'
'Well； Orme…Herrick is a great friend of mine； but I should not go tearing off to his deathbed on a warm Sunday afternoon。 I should doubt whether Lady Orme…Herrick would wele me。 However； I see you have no such doubts。 I shall miss you； my dear boy； but do not hurry back on my account。'
Paddington Station on that August Sunday evening； with the sun streaming through the obscure panes of its roof； the bookstalls shut； and the few passengers strolling unhurried beside their porters； would have soothed a mind less agitated than mine。 The train was nearly empty。 I had my suitcase put in the corner of a third…class carriage and took a seat in the dining…car。 'First dinner after Reading； sir； about seven o'clock。 Can I get you anything now？' I ordered gin and vermouth； it was brought to me as we pulled out of the station。 The knives and forks set up their regular jingle； the bright landscape rolled past the windows。 But I had no mind for these smooth things； instead； fear worked like yeast in my thoughts； and the fermentation brought to the surface； in great gobs of scum； the images of disaster； a loaded gun held carelessly at a stile； a horse rearing and rolling over； a shaded pool with a submerged； stake； an elm bough falling suddenly on a still morning； a car at a blind corner； all the catalogue of threats to civilized life rose and haunted me； I even pictured a homicidal maniac mouthing in the shadows； swinging a length of lead pipe。 The cornfields and heavy woodland sped past； deep in the golden evening； and the throb of the wheels repeated monotonously in my ears。 'You've e too late。 You've e too late。 He's dead。 He's dead。 He's dead。'
I dined and changed trains to the local line； and in twilight came to Melstead Carbury； which was my destination。
'Brideshead； sir？ Yes； Lady Julia's in the yard。'
She was sitting at the wheel of an open car。 I recognized her at once； I could not have failed to do so。
'You're Mr Ryder？ Jump in。' Her voice was Sebastian's and his her； way of speaking。
'How is he？'
'Sebastian？ Oh； he's fine。 Have you had dinner？ Well； I expect it was beastly。 There's some more at home。 Sebastian and I are alone； so we thought we'd wait for you。'
'What's happened to him？'
'Didn't he say？ I expect he thought you wouldn't e if you knew。 He's cracked a bone in his ankle so small that it hasn't a name。 But they X…rayed it yesterday； and told him to keep it up for a month。 It's a great bore to him； putting out all his plans； he's been making the most enormous fuss。。。Everyone else has gone。 He tried to make me stay back with him。 Well； I expect you know how maddeningly pathetic he can be。 I almost gave in； and then I said： 〃Surely there must be someone you can get hold of；〃 and he said everybody was away or busy and； anyway； no one else would do。 But at last he agreed to try you； and I promised I'd stay if you failed him； so you can imagine how popular you are with me。 I must say it's noble of you to e all this way at a moment's notice。' But as she said it； I heard； or thought I heard； a tiny note of contempt in her voice that I should be so readily available。
'How did he do it？'
'Believe it or not； playing croquet。 He lost his temper and tripped over a hoop。 Not a very honourable scar。'
She so much resembled Sebastian that； sitting beside her in the gathering dusk； I was confused by the double illusion of familiarity and strangeness。 Thus； looking through strong lenses； one may watch a man approaching from afar； study every detail of his face and clothes； believe one has only to put out a hand to touch him marvel that he does not hear one and look up as one moves； and then； seeing him with the naked eye； suddenly remember that one is to him a distant speck； doubtfully human。 I knew her and she did not know me。 Her dark hair was scarcely longer than Sebastian's； and it blew back from her forehead as his did； her eyes on the darkling road were his； but larger； her painted mouth was less friendly to the world。 She wore a bangle of charms on her wrist and in her ears little gold rings。 Her light coat revealed an inch or two of flowered silk； skirts were short in those days； and her legs； stretched forward to the controls of the car； were spindly； as was also the fashion。 Because her sex was the palpable difference between the familiar and the strange it seemed to fill the space between us； so that I felt her to be especially female； as I had felt of no woman before。
'I'm terrified of driving at this time of the evening；' she said。 'There doesn't seem anyone left at home who can drive a car。 Sebastian and I are practically camping out here。 I hope you haven't e expecting a pompous party。' She leaned forward to the locker for a box of cigarettes。
'No thanks。'
'Light one for me； will you？'
It was； the first time in my life that anyone had asked this of me； and as I took the cigarette from my lips and put it in hers； I caught a thin bat's squeak of sexuality； inaudible to any but me。
'Thanks。 You've been here before。 Nanny reported it。 We both thought it very odd of you not to stay to tea with me。'
'That was Sebastian。'
'You seem to let him boss you about a good deal。 You shouldn't。 It's very bad for him。'
We had turned the er of the drive now； the colour had died in the woods； and sky；。and the house seemed painted in grisaille； save for the central golden square at the open doors。 A man was waiting to take my luggage。
'Here we are。'
She led me up the steps and into the hall； flung her coat on a marble table； and stooped to fondle a dog which came to greet her。 'I wouldn't put it past Sebastian to have started dinner。'
At that moment he appeared between the pillars at the further end； propelling himself in a wheel…chair。 He was in pyjamas and dressing…gown； with one foot heavily bandaged。
'Well； darling； I have collected your chum；' she said； again with a barely perceptible note of contempt。
'I thought you were dying；' I said； conscious then； as I had been ever since I arrived； of the predominating emotion of vexation； rather than of relief； that I had been bilked of my expectations of a grand tragedy。
'I thought I was； too。 The pain was excruciating。 Julia； do you think； if you asked him； Wilcox would give us champagne tonight？'
'I hate champagne and Mr Ryder has had dinner。'
'Mister Ryder？ Mister Ryder？ Charles drinks champagne at all hours。 Do you know； seeing this great swaddled foot of mine； I can't get it out of my mind that I have gout； and that gives me a craving for champagne。'
We dined in a room they called 'the Painted Parlour'。 It was a spacious octagon； later in design than the rest of the house its walls； were adorned with wreathed medallions and across its dome prim Pompeian figures stood pastoral groups。 They and the satin…wood and ormolu furniture； the carpet； the hanging bronze candelabrum； the mirrors and sconces； were all a single position； the design of one illustrious hand。 'We usually eat here when we're alone；' said Sebastian； 'it's so cosy。'
While they dined I ate a peach and told them of the war with my father。
'He sounds a perfect poppet；' said Julia。 'And now I'm going to leave you boys。'
'Where are you off to？'
'The nursery。 I promised nanny a last game of halma。' She kissed the top of Sebastian's head。 I opened the door for her。 'Good Night； Mr Ryder； and good…bye。 I don't suppose we'll meet tomorrow。 I'm leaving early。 I can't tell you how grateful I am to you for relieving me at the sick…bed。'
'My sister is very pompous tonight；' said Sebastian； when she was gone。
'I don't think she cares for me；' I said。
'I don't think she cares for anyone much。 I love her。 She's so like me。'
'Do you？ Is she？'
'In looks I mean and the way she talks。 I wouldn't love anyone with a character like mine。'
When we had drunk our port； I walked beside Sebastian's chair through the pillared hall to the library； where we sat that night and nearly every night of the ensuing month。 It lay on the side of the house that overlooked the lakes； the windows were open to t