'Mr Samgrass says he is noisy and high…spirited。 I believe；' she said； with a faint light of humour streaking the clouds； 'I believe you and he tease Mr Samgrass rather。 It's naughty of you。 I'm very fond of Mr Samgrass； and you should be too； after all he's done for you。 But I think perhaps if I were your age and a man I might be just a little inclined to tease Mr Samgrass myself。 No； I don't mind that； but last night and this morning are something quite different。 You see； it's all happened before。'
'I can only say I've seen him drunk often and I've been drunk with him often； but last night was quite new to me。'
'Oh； I don't mean with Sebastian。 I mean years ago。 I've been through it all before with someone else whom I loved。 Well； you must know what I mean … with his father。 He used to be drunk in just that way。 Someone told me he is not like that now。 I pray God it's true and thank God for it with all my heart； if it is。 But the running away … he ran away； too； you know。 It was as you said just now； he was ashamed of being unhappy。 Both of them unhappy； ashamed； and running away。 It's too pitiful。 The men I grew up with' … and her great eyes moved from the embroidery to the three miniatures in the folding leathecase on the chimney…piece … 'were not like that。 I simply don't understand it。 Do you； Charles？'
'Only very little。'
'And yet Sebastian is fonder of you than of any of us； you know。 You've got to help him。 I can't。'
I have here pressed into a few sentences what； there； required many。 Lady Marchmain was not diffuse； but she took hold of her subject in a feminine； flirtatious way； circling； approaching； retreating； feinting； she hovered over it like a butterfly； she played 'grandmother's steps' with it； getting nearer the real point imperceptibly while one's back was turned； standing rooted when she was observed。 The unhappiness； the running away … these made up her sorrow； and in her own way she exposed the whole of it； before she was done。 It was an hour before she had said all she meant to say。 Then； as I rose to leave her； she added as though in an afterthought： 'I wonder have you seen my brothers' book？ It has just e out。'
I told her I had looked through it in Sebastian's room。
'I should like you to have a copy。 May I give you one？ They were three splendid men； Ned was the best of them。 He was the last to be killed； and when the telegram came； as I knew it would e； I thought： 〃Now it's my son's turn to do what Ned can never do now。〃 I was alone then。 He was just going to Eton。 If you read Ned's book you'll understand。'
She had a copy lying ready on her bureau。 I thought at the time； 'She planned this parting before ever I came in。 Had she rehearsed all the interview？ If things had gone differently would she have put the book back in the drawer？'
She wrote her name and mine on the fly leaf； the date and place。
'I prayed for you； too； in the night；' she said。
I closed the door behind me； shutting out the bondieuserie； the low ceiling； the chintz； the lambskin bindings； the views of Florence； the bowls of hyacinth and potpourri； the petit…point； the intimate feminine； modern world； and was back under the coved and coffered roof； the columns and entablature of the central hall； in the august； masculine atmosphere of a better age。
I was no fool； I was old enough to know that an attempt had been made to suborn me and young enough to have found the experience agreeable。
I did not see Julia that morning； but just as I was leaving Cordelia ran to the door of the car and said： 'Will you be seeing Sebastian？ Please give him my special love。 Will you remember … my special love？'
In the train to London I read the book Lady Marchmain had given me。 The frontispiece reproduced the photograph of a young man in Grenadier uniform； and I saw plainly revealed there the origin of that grim mask which； in Brideshead； overlaid the gracious features of his father's family； this was a man of the woods and caves； a hunter； a judge of the tribal council； the repository of the harsh traditions of a people at war with their environment。 There were other illustrations in the book； snapshots of the three brothers on holiday； and in each I traced the same archaic lines； and remembering Lady Marchmain； starry and delicate； I could find no likeness to her in these sombre men。
She appeared seldom in the book； she was older than the eldest of them by nine years and had married and left home while they were schoolboys； between her and them stood two other sisters； after the birth of the third daughter there had been pilgrimages and pious benedictions in request for a son； for theirs was a wide property and an ancient name； male heirs had e late and； when they came； in a profusion which at the time seemed to promise continuity to the line which； in the tragic event； ended abruptly with them。
The family history was typical of the Catholic squires of England； from Elizabeth's reign till Victoria's they lived sequestered lives； among their tenantry and kinsmen； sending their sons to school abroad； often marrying there； inter…marrying； if not； with a score of families like themselves； debarred from all preferment； and learning； in those lost generations； lessons which could still be read in the lives of the last three men of the house。
Mr Samgrass's deft editorship had assembled and arranged a curiously homogeneous little body of writing … poetry； letters； scraps of a journal； an unpublished essay or two； which all exhaled the same high…spirited； serious； chivalrous； otherworldly air and the letters from their contemporaries； written after their deaths； all in varying degrees of articulateness； told the same tale of men who were； in all the full flood of academic and athletic success； of popularity and the promise of great rewards ahead； seen somehow as set apart from their fellows； garlanded victims； devoted to the sacrifice。 These men must die to make a world for Hooper； they were the aborigines； vermin by right of law； to be shot off at leisure so that things might be safe for the travelling salesman； with his polygonal pince…nez； his fat wet hand…shake； his grinning dentures。 I wondered； as the train carried me farther and farther from Lady Marchmain； whether perhaps there was not on her； too； the same blaze； marking her and hers for destruction by other ways than war。 Did she see a sign in the red centre of her cosy grate and hear it in the rattle of creeper on the window…pane； this whisper of doom？
Then I reached Paddington and； returning home； found Sebastian there； and the sense of tragedy vanished； for he was gay and free as when I first met him。
'Cordelia sent you her special love。'
'Did you have a 〃little talk〃 with mummy？'
'Yes。'
'Have you gone over to her side？
The day before I would have said： 'There aren't two sides'； that day I said； 'No； I'm with you； 〃Sebastian contra mundum〃。'
And that was all the conversation we had on the subject； then or ever。
But the shadows were closing round Sebastian。 We returned to Oxford and once again the gillyflowers bloomed under my windows and the chestnut lit the streets and the warm stones strewed their flakes upon the cobble； but it was not as it had been； there was mid…winter in Sebastian's heart。
The weeks went by； we looked for lodgings for the ing term and found them in Merton Street； a secluded； expensive little house near the tennis court。
Meeting Mr Samgrass； whom we had seen less often of late； I told him of our choice。 He was standing at the table in Blackwell's where recent German books were displayed； setting aside a little heap of purchases。
'You're sharing digs with Sebastian？' he said。 'So he is ing up next term？'
'I suppose so。 Why shouldn't he be？'
'I don't know why； I somehow thought perhaps he wasn't。 I'm always wrong about things like that。 I like Merton Street。'
He showed me the books he was buying； which； since I knew no German； were not of interest to me。 As I left him he said： 'Don't think me interfering； you know； but I shouldn't make any definite arrangement in Merton Street until you're sure。'
I told Sebastian of this co