kind to Simon； very kind in his strange Sithi way。 How could An'nai not go to heaven？ How could heaven be such a stupid place？
The anger； which had abated for a moment； returned。 Simon flung one of the sticks he had gathered as hard as he could。 It whirled through the air； then struck and cartwheeled down the long stony hill； disappearing at last into the underbrush below。
〃e； Simon；〃 Sludig called from behind him。 〃We need your wood for the fire。 Aren't you hungry now？〃
Simon ignored him； staring out at the reddening sky as he ground his teeth in frustration。 He felt a hand on his arm and angrily shrugged it off。 'Please； e；〃 the Rimmersman said kindly。 〃Supper will be ready soon。〃
〃Where is Haestan？〃 Simon asked through tight lips。
〃What do you mean？〃 Sludig cocked his head。 〃You know where we left him； Simon。〃
〃No； I mean where is Haestan？ The real Haestan。〃
〃Ah。〃 Sludig smiled。 His beard had grown very thick。 〃His soul is in heaven； with Usires and the Lord God。〃
〃No。〃 Simon turned to look at the sky again； darkening now with the first mortal blues of night。
〃What？ Why do you say that？〃
〃He's not in heaven。 There is no heaven。 How can there be a heaven； when everyone thinks it's different？〃
〃You are being foolish。〃 Sludig stared at him for a moment； trying to sense Simon's thought。 〃Perhaps everyone goes to their own heaven；〃 the soldier said； then placed his hand again on Simon's shoulder。 〃God knows what He knows。 e and sit down。〃
〃How could God let people die for no reason？〃 Simon demanded； hugging himself as though trying to keep something inside。 〃If God can do that； then He is cruel。 If He isn't cruel； well 。 。 。 well； then。 He just can't do anything。 Like an old man who sits at the window； but can't go out。 He's old and stupid。〃
〃Do not talk against God the Father；〃 Sludig said； his voice chilly。 〃God will not be mocked by an ungrateful boy。 He has given you all the gifts of life 。。。〃
〃It's a lie！〃 Simon shouted。 The soldier's eyes widened in surprise。 Heads turned from the campfire； looking to the sudden noise。 〃It's a lie； a lie！ What gifts？ To crawl around like a bug； here and there； trying to find something to eat； somewhere to sleep…and then without warning some… thing smashes you？ What kind of gift is that！？ To do the right thing； and。。。 and fight against evil； like the Book of the Aedon says…if you do that you get killed！ Just like Haestan！ just like Morgenes！ The bad ones live on…live on and grow rich and laugh at the good ones！ It's a stupid lie！〃
〃That is terrible； Simon！〃 Sludig said； his voice also rising。 〃You speak from madness and grief。 。 。〃
〃It's a lie…and you are an idiot to believe it！〃 Simon yelled； throwing his wood down at Sludig's feet。 He turned and ran down the mountain path with a great； grieving pain in his middle that almost took his breath away； following the twisting course until the camp had disappeared from view。 Qantaqa's bark wafted after him； faint and percussive as someone clapping in another room。
At last he sank down on a stone beside the path； rubbing his hands back and forth over the worn cloth of his breeches。 There was moss growing on the stone； burnt brown by frost and wind； but still somehow vital and alive。 He stared at it； wondering why he could not cry and whether he even wanted to。
After some time he heard a clicking noise and looked up to see Qantaqa pacing toward him over the sloping rocks above the path。 The wolfs nose hovered low； sniffing close to the stone。 She hopped down onto the path； and regarded him quizzically for a moment with her head cocked to one side； then walked past； brushing against his leg。 Simon trailed his fingers along the thick pelt of her flank as she went by。 Qantaqa continued on down the path； a dim gray shape in the growing darkness。
〃Simon…friend。〃 Binabik appeared around the bend in the track。 〃Qantaqa is off to hunt；〃 he said； watching her disappearing form。 〃It is hard for a wolf to be walking all day where I ask her。 She is a good panion to make such sacrifice for my sake。〃
When Simon did not respond； the troll came forward and squatted at his side； his walking stick balanced on his knees。
〃You are much upset；〃 he said。
Simon took a deep breath； then let it out。 〃Everything is a lie；〃 he sighed。
Binabik raised an eyebrow。 〃What is 'everything'？ And what is making it a lie？〃
〃I don't think we can do anything at all。 Anything to make things better。 We're going to die。〃
〃At some time；〃 the troll nodded。
〃We're going to die fighting the Storm King。 It's a lie if we say we're not。 God's not going to save us； or even help us。〃 Simon picked up a loose stone and flung it across the path； where it went rattling into darkness。 〃Binabik； I couldn't even pick up Thorn。 What good is the sword going to be if we can't even use it？ How is a sword…even three Great Swords or whatever they're called…going to kill an enemy like him？ Kill someone who's already dead？〃
〃These are questions that need answering；〃 the little man replied。 〃I do not know。 How do you know that the sword is for killing？ And if it is for that； what makes you think any of us is to be the killer？〃
Simon chose another rock and threw it。 〃I don't know anything； either。 I'm just a kitchen boy； Binabik。〃 He felt immensely sorry for himself。 〃I just want to go home。〃 The word caught in his throat。
The troll stood； brushing off his seat。 〃You are not a boy； Simon。 You are a man in all the ways for measuring。 A young man； true； but a man…or with great nearness。〃
Simon shook his head。 〃It doesn't matter； anyway。 I thought 。。。 I don't know。 I thought that it would be like a story。 That we would find the sword and it would be a powerful weapon； that we would destroy our enemies and things would be right again。 1 didn't think any more people would die！ How could there be a God who would let good people die； no matter what they do？〃
〃Another question I cannot be answering。〃 Binabik smiled； but gently； mindful of Simon's pain。 〃And I cannot be telling you what is right for belief。 The truths that became our stories of gods are far away in the past。 Even the Sithi； who live for eons； do not know how the world began or what began it…at least not for certain； I am thinking。 But I can tell you something important 。。。〃
The troll leaned forward； touching Simon's arm； waiting until his young friend had raised his eyes from the moss once more。 〃Gods in the heaven or in the stone are distant； and we can guess only at what they intend。〃 He squeezed Simon's forearm。 〃But you and I； we are living in a time when a god walks the earth once more。 He is not a god who intends kindness。 Men may fight and die； they may build walls and break stone； but Ineluki has died and e back； that is something no one else has ever been doing； not even your Usires Aedon。 Forgive me； because I am not meaning blasphemy； but is not what Ineluki has done a thing like a god can do？〃 Binabik gave Simon a little shake； staring into his eyes。 〃He is jealous and terrible； and the world he can make will be a terrible place。 We are having a task of great fear and very great difficulty； Simon…it may even be that there is no possibility of succeeding…but it is not a task we can be fleeing。〃
Simon tore his gaze from Binabik's。 〃That's what I said。 How do you fight a god？ We'll be crushed like ants。〃 Another stone went flying out into darkness。
〃Perhaps。 But if we are not trying； then there is no chance of anything but this antlike crushing； so we must try。 There is always something beyond even the worst of bad times。 We may die； but the dying of some may mean living for others。 That is not much to cling to； but it is a true thing in any case。〃
The troll moved a little way down the path and took a seat on another stone。 The sky was darkening swiftly。 〃Also；〃 Binabik said gravely； 〃it may or may not be foolishness to pray to the gods； but there is certainly being no wisdom in cursing them。〃
Simon said nothing。 They passed some time in silence。 At last Binabik twisted loose the knife end of his walking stick； allowing the bone flute inside the hollow stick to slide free。 He ble