¡¶cb.damnationgame¡·

ÏÂÔر¾Êé

Ìí¼ÓÊéÇ©

cb.damnationgame- µÚ20½Ú


°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡û »ò ¡ú ¿É¿ìËÙÉÏÏ·­Ò³£¬°´¼üÅÌÉ쵀 Enter ¼ü¿É»Øµ½±¾ÊéĿ¼ҳ£¬°´¼üÅÌÉÏ·½Ïò¼ü ¡ü ¿É»Øµ½±¾Ò³¶¥²¿£¡
¡¡¡¡There¡¡was¡¡a¡¡time¡¡when¡¡he'd¡¡been¡¡a¡¡fox£º¡¡thin¡¡and¡¡sharp£»¡¡a¡¡night¡¡wanderer¡£¡¡But¡¡things¡¡had¡¡changed¡£¡¡Providence¡¡had¡¡been¡¡bountiful£»¡¡dreams¡¡had¡¡e¡¡true£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡fox£»¡¡always¡¡a¡¡shape¡­changer£»¡¡had¡¡grown¡¡fat¡¡and¡¡easy¡£¡¡The¡¡world¡¡had¡¡changed¡¡too£º¡¡it¡¡had¡¡bee¡¡a¡¡geography¡¡of¡¡profit¡¡and¡¡loss¡£¡¡Distances¡¡had¡¡shrunk¡¡to¡¡the¡¡length¡¡of¡¡his¡¡mand¡£¡¡He¡¡had¡¡forgotten£»¡¡with¡¡time£»¡¡his¡¡previous¡¡life¡£
¡¡¡¡But¡¡of¡¡late¡¡he¡¡remembered¡¡it¡¡more¡¡and¡¡more¡£¡¡It¡¡came¡¡back¡¡in¡¡brilliant¡¡but¡¡reproachful¡¡detail£»¡¡when¡¡the¡¡events¡¡of¡¡the¡¡day¡¡before¡¡were¡¡a¡¡fog¡£¡¡But¡¡he¡¡knew¡¡in¡¡his¡¡heart¡¡of¡¡hearts¡¡there¡¡was¡¡no¡¡way¡¡back¡¡to¡¡that¡¡blessed¡¡state¡£
¡¡¡¡And¡¡forward¡¡from¡¡here£¿¡¡That¡¡was¡¡a¡¡journey¡¡into¡¡a¡¡hopeless¡¡place£»¡¡where¡¡no¡¡signpost¡¡would¡¡point¡¡him¡¡right¡¡or¡¡left¡­all¡¡directions¡¡being¡¡equal¡¡there¡­nor¡¡would¡¡there¡¡be¡¡hill¡¡or¡¡tree¡¡or¡¡habitation¡¡to¡¡mark¡¡the¡¡way¡£¡¡Such¡¡a¡¡place¡£¡¡Such¡¡a¡¡terrible¡¡place¡£
¡¡¡¡But¡¡he¡¡wouldn't¡¡be¡¡alone¡¡there¡£¡¡In¡¡that¡¡nowhere¡¡he¡¡would¡¡have¡¡a¡¡panion¡£
¡¡¡¡And¡¡when£»¡¡in¡¡the¡¡fullness¡¡of¡¡time£»¡¡he¡¡set¡¡his¡¡eyes¡¡on¡¡that¡¡land¡¡and¡¡its¡¡tenant¡¡he¡¡would¡¡wish£»¡¡oh¡¡Christ¡¡how¡¡he¡¡would¡¡wish£»¡¡that¡¡he¡¡had¡¡stayed¡¡a¡¡fox¡£
¡¡¡¡
¡¡¡¡III¡¡The¡¡Last¡¡European
¡¡¡¡
¡¡¡¡18
¡¡¡¡Anthony¡¡Breer£»¡¡the¡¡Razor¡­Eater£»¡¡returned¡¡to¡¡his¡¡tiny¡¡flat¡¡in¡¡the¡¡late¡¡afternoon£»¡¡made¡¡himself¡¡instant¡¡coffee¡¡in¡¡his¡¡favorite¡¡cup£»¡¡then¡¡sat¡¡at¡¡the¡¡table¡¡in¡¡the¡¡failing¡¡light¡¡and¡¡started¡¡to¡¡tie¡¡himself¡¡a¡¡noose¡£¡¡He'd¡¡known¡¡from¡¡early¡¡morning¡¡that¡¡today¡¡was¡¡the¡¡day¡£¡¡No¡¡need¡¡to¡¡go¡¡down¡¡to¡¡the¡¡library£»¡¡if£»¡¡in¡¡time£»¡¡they¡¡noticed¡¡his¡¡absence¡¡and¡¡wrote¡¡to¡¡him¡¡demanding¡¡to¡¡know¡¡where¡¡he¡¡was£»¡¡he¡¡wouldn't¡¡be¡¡answering¡£¡¡Besides£»¡¡the¡¡sky¡¡had¡¡looked¡¡as¡¡grubby¡¡as¡¡his¡¡sheets¡¡at¡¡dawn£»¡¡and¡¡being¡¡a¡¡rational¡¡man¡¡he'd¡¡thought£º¡¡why¡¡bother¡¡to¡¡wash¡¡the¡¡sheets¡¡when¡¡the¡¡world's¡¡so¡¡dirty£»¡¡and¡¡I'm¡¡so¡¡dirty£»¡¡and¡¡there's¡¡no¡¡chance¡¡of¡¡ever¡¡getting¡¡any¡¡of¡¡it¡¡clean£¿¡¡The¡¡best¡¡thing¡¡is¡¡to¡¡put¡¡an¡¡end¡¡to¡¡this¡¡squalid¡¡existence¡¡once¡¡and¡¡for¡¡all¡£
¡¡¡¡He'd¡¡seen¡¡hanged¡¡people¡¡aplenty¡£¡¡Only¡¡photographs£»¡¡of¡¡course£»¡¡in¡¡a¡¡book¡¡he'd¡¡stolen¡¡from¡¡work¡¡about¡¡war¡¡crimes£»¡¡marked¡¡¡¨Not¡¡for¡¡the¡¡open¡¡shelves¡£¡¡To¡¡be¡¡issued¡¡only¡¡on¡¡request¡£¡¨¡¡The¡¡warning¡¡had¡¡really¡¡got¡¡his¡¡imagination¡¡working£º¡¡here¡¡was¡¡a¡¡book¡¡people¡¡weren't¡¡really¡¡meant¡¡to¡¡see¡£¡¡He'd¡¡slipped¡¡it¡¡into¡¡his¡¡bag¡¡unopened£»¡¡knowing¡¡from¡¡the¡¡very¡¡title¡­Soviet¡¡Documents¡¡on¡¡Nazi¡¡Atrocities¡­that¡¡this¡¡was¡¡a¡¡volume¡¡almost¡¡as¡¡sweet¡¡in¡¡the¡¡anticipation¡¡as¡¡in¡¡the¡¡reading¡£¡¡But¡¡in¡¡that¡¡he'd¡¡been¡¡wrong¡£¡¡Mouthwatering¡¡as¡¡that¡¡day¡¡had¡¡been£»¡¡knowing¡¡that¡¡his¡¡bag¡¡contained¡¡this¡¡taboo¡¡treasure¡¡that¡¡delight¡¡was¡¡nothing¡¡pared¡¡to¡¡the¡¡revelations¡¡of¡¡the¡¡book¡¡itself¡£¡¡There¡¡were¡¡pictures¡¡of¡¡the¡¡burned¡­out¡¡ruins¡¡of¡¡Chekhov's¡¡cottage¡¡in¡¡Istra¡¡and¡¡others¡¡of¡¡the¡¡desecration¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Tchaikovsky¡¡residence¡£¡¡But¡¡mostly¡­and¡¡more¡¡importantly¡­there¡¡were¡¡photographs¡¡of¡¡the¡¡dead¡£¡¡Some¡¡of¡¡them¡¡heaped¡¡in¡¡piles£»¡¡others¡¡lying¡¡in¡¡bloody¡¡snow£»¡¡frozen¡¡solid¡£¡¡Children¡¡with¡¡their¡¡skulls¡¡broken¡¡open£»¡¡people¡¡lying¡¡in¡¡trenches£»¡¡shot¡¡in¡¡the¡¡face£»¡¡others¡¡with¡¡swastikas¡¡carved¡¡into¡¡their¡¡chests¡¡and¡¡buttocks¡£¡¡But¡¡to¡¡the¡¡Razor¡­Eater's¡¡greedy¡¡eyes£»¡¡the¡¡best¡¡photographs¡¡were¡¡of¡¡people¡¡being¡¡hanged¡£¡¡There¡¡was¡¡one¡¡Breer¡¡looked¡¡at¡¡very¡¡often¡£¡¡It¡¡pictured¡¡a¡¡handsome¡¡young¡¡man¡¡being¡¡strung¡¡up¡¡from¡¡a¡¡makeshift¡¡gallows¡£¡¡The¡¡photographer¡¡had¡¡caught¡¡him¡¡in¡¡his¡¡last¡¡moments£»¡¡staring¡¡directly¡¡at¡¡the¡¡camera£»¡¡a¡¡wan¡¡and¡¡beatific¡¡smile¡¡on¡¡his¡¡face¡£
¡¡¡¡That¡¡was¡¡the¡¡look¡¡Breer¡¡wanted¡¡them¡¡to¡¡find¡¡on¡¡his¡¡face¡¡when¡¡they¡¡broke¡¡down¡¡the¡¡door¡¡of¡¡this¡¡very¡¡room¡¡and¡¡found¡¡him¡¡suspended¡¡up¡¡here£»¡¡pirouetting¡¡in¡¡the¡¡breeze¡¡from¡¡the¡¡hallway¡£¡¡He¡¡thought¡¡about¡¡how¡¡they¡¡would¡¡stare¡¡at¡¡him£»¡¡coo¡¡at¡¡him£»¡¡shake¡¡their¡¡heads¡¡in¡¡wonder¡¡at¡¡his¡¡pale¡¡white¡¡feet¡¡and¡¡his¡¡courage¡¡in¡¡doing¡¡this¡¡tremendous¡¡thing¡£¡¡And¡¡while¡¡he¡¡thought£»¡¡he¡¡knotted¡¡and¡¡unknotted¡¡the¡¡noose£»¡¡determined¡¡to¡¡make¡¡as¡¡professional¡¡a¡¡job¡¡of¡¡it¡¡as¡¡he¡¡possibly¡¡could¡£
¡¡¡¡His¡¡only¡¡anxiety¡¡was¡¡the¡¡confession¡£¡¡Despite¡¡his¡¡working¡¡with¡¡books¡¡day¡¡in£»¡¡day¡¡out£»¡¡words¡¡weren't¡¡his¡¡strongest¡¡point£º¡¡they¡¡slipped¡¡away¡¡for¡¡him£»¡¡like¡¡beauty¡¡from¡¡his¡¡fat¡¡hands¡£¡¡But¡¡he¡¡wanted¡¡to¡¡say¡¡something¡¡about¡¡the¡¡children£»¡¡just¡¡so¡¡they'd¡¡know£»¡¡the¡¡people¡¡who¡¡found¡¡him¡¡and¡¡photographed¡¡him£»¡¡that¡¡this¡¡wasn't¡¡a¡¡nobody¡¡they¡¡were¡¡staring¡¡at£»¡¡but¡¡a¡¡man¡¡who'd¡¡done¡¡the¡¡worst¡¡things¡¡in¡¡the¡¡world¡¡for¡¡the¡¡best¡¡possible¡¡reasons¡£¡¡That¡¡was¡¡vital£º¡¡that¡¡they¡¡knew¡¡who¡¡he¡¡was£»¡¡because¡¡maybe¡¡in¡¡time¡¡they'd¡¡make¡¡sense¡¡of¡¡him¡¡in¡¡a¡¡way¡¡that¡¡he'd¡¡never¡¡been¡¡able¡¡to¡£
¡¡¡¡They¡¡had¡¡methods¡¡of¡¡interrogation£»¡¡he¡¡knew£»¡¡even¡¡with¡¡dead¡¡people¡£¡¡They'd¡¡lay¡¡him¡¡in¡¡an¡¡ice¡¡room¡¡and¡¡examine¡¡him¡¡minutely£»¡¡and¡¡when¡¡they'd¡¡studied¡¡him¡¡from¡¡the¡¡outside¡¡they'd¡¡start¡¡looking¡¡at¡¡his¡¡inside£»¡¡and¡¡oh£¡¡¡what¡¡things¡¡they'd¡¡find¡£¡¡They'd¡¡saw¡¡off¡¡the¡¡top¡¡of¡¡his¡¡skull¡¡and¡¡take¡¡out¡¡his¡¡brain£»¡¡examine¡¡it¡¡for¡¡tumors£»¡¡slice¡¡it¡¡thinly¡¡like¡¡expensive¡¡ham£»¡¡probe¡¡at¡¡it¡¡in¡¡a¡¡hundred¡¡ways¡¡to¡¡find¡¡out¡¡the¡¡why¡¡and¡¡how¡¡of¡¡him¡£¡¡But¡¡that¡¡wouldn't¡¡work£»¡¡would¡¡it£¿¡¡He£»¡¡of¡¡all¡¡people£»¡¡should¡¡know¡¡that¡£¡¡You¡¡cut¡¡up¡¡a¡¡thing¡¡that's¡¡alive¡¡and¡¡beautiful¡¡to¡¡find¡¡out¡¡how¡¡it's¡¡alive¡¡and¡¡why¡¡it's¡¡beautiful¡¡and¡¡before¡¡you¡¡know¡¡it£»¡¡it's¡¡neither¡¡of¡¡those¡¡things£»¡¡and¡¡you're¡¡standing¡¡there¡¡with¡¡blood¡¡on¡¡your¡¡face¡¡and¡¡tears¡¡in¡¡your¡¡sight¡¡and¡¡only¡¡the¡¡terrible¡¡ache¡¡of¡¡guilt¡¡to¡¡show¡¡for¡¡it¡£¡¡No£»¡¡they'd¡¡get¡¡nothing¡¡from¡¡his¡¡brain£»¡¡they'd¡¡have¡¡to¡¡look¡¡further¡¡than¡¡that¡£¡¡They'd¡¡have¡¡to¡¡unzip¡¡him¡¡from¡¡neck¡¡to¡¡pubis£»¡¡snip¡¡his¡¡ribs¡¡and¡¡fold¡¡them¡¡back£º¡¡Only¡¡then¡¡could¡¡they¡¡unravel¡¡his¡¡guts£»¡¡and¡¡rummage¡¡in¡¡his¡¡stomach£»¡¡and¡¡juggle¡¡his¡¡liver¡¡and¡¡lights¡£¡¡There£»¡¡oh¡¡yes£»¡¡there£»¡¡they'd¡¡find¡¡plenty¡¡to¡¡feast¡¡their¡¡eyes¡¡on¡£
¡¡¡¡Maybe¡¡that¡¡was¡¡the¡¡best¡¡confession¡¡then£»¡¡he¡¡mused¡¡as¡¡he¡¡retied¡¡the¡¡noose¡¡one¡¡final¡¡time¡£¡¡No¡¡use¡¡to¡¡try¡¡to¡¡find¡¡the¡¡right¡¡words£»¡¡because¡¡what¡¡were¡¡words¡¡anyway£¿¡¡Trash£»¡¡useless¡¡for¡¡the¡¡hot¡¡heart¡¡of¡¡things¡£¡¡No£»¡¡they'd¡¡find¡¡all¡¡they¡¡needed¡¡to¡¡know¡¡if¡¡they¡¡just¡¡looked¡¡inside¡¡him¡£¡¡Find¡¡the¡¡story¡¡of¡¡the¡¡lost¡¡children£»¡¡find¡¡the¡¡glory¡¡of¡¡his¡¡martyrdom¡£¡¡And¡¡they'd¡¡know£»¡¡once¡¡and¡¡for¡¡all£»¡¡that¡¡he¡¡was¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Tribe¡¡of¡¡the¡¡Razor¡­Eaters¡£
¡¡¡¡He¡¡finished¡¡the¡¡noose£»¡¡made¡¡himself¡¡a¡¡second¡¡cup¡¡of¡¡coffee£»¡¡and¡¡started¡¡work¡¡on¡¡getting¡¡the¡¡rope¡¡secure¡£¡¡First¡¡he¡¡removed¡¡the¡¡lamp¡¡that¡¡hung¡¡from¡¡the¡¡middle¡¡of¡¡the¡¡ceiling£»¡¡then¡¡he¡¡tied¡¡the¡¡noose¡¡up¡¡there¡¡in¡¡its¡¡place¡£¡¡It¡¡was¡¡strong¡£¡¡He¡¡swung¡¡from¡¡it¡¡for¡¡a¡¡few¡¡moments¡¡to¡¡make¡¡certain¡¡of¡¡it£»¡¡and¡¡though¡¡the¡¡beams¡¡grunted¡¡a¡¡little£»¡¡and¡¡there¡¡was¡¡a¡¡patter¡¡of¡¡plaster¡¡on¡¡his¡¡head£»¡¡it¡¡bore¡¡his¡¡weight¡£
¡¡¡¡By¡¡now¡¡it¡¡was¡¡early¡¡evening£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡was¡¡tired£»¡¡the¡¡fatigue¡¡making¡¡him¡¡more¡¡clumsy¡¡than¡¡usual¡£¡¡He¡¡shunted¡¡around¡¡the¡¡room¡¡tidying¡¡it¡¡up£»¡¡his¡¡pig¡­fat¡¡body¡¡wracked¡¡with¡¡sighs¡¡as¡¡he¡¡bundled¡¡up¡¡the¡¡stained¡¡sheets¡¡and¡¡tucked¡¡them¡¡out¡¡of¡¡sight£»¡¡rinsed¡¡his¡¡coffee¡¡cup£»¡¡and¡¡carefully¡¡poured¡¡away¡¡the¡¡milk¡¡so¡¡that¡¡it¡¡wouldn't¡¡curdle¡¡before¡¡they¡¡came¡£¡¡He¡¡turned¡¡on¡¡the¡¡radio¡¡as¡¡he¡¡worked£»¡¡it¡¡would¡¡help¡¡to¡¡cover¡¡the¡¡sound¡¡of¡¡the¡¡chair¡¡being¡¡kicked¡¡over¡¡when¡¡the¡¡time¡¡came£º¡¡there¡¡were¡¡others¡¡in¡¡the¡¡house¡¡and¡¡he¡¡didn't¡¡want¡¡any¡¡last¡­minute¡¡reprieve¡£¡¡The¡¡usual¡¡banalities¡¡from¡¡the¡¡radio¡¡station¡¡filled¡¡the¡¡room£º¡¡songs¡¡of¡¡love¡¡and¡¡loss¡¡and¡¡love¡¡found¡¡again¡£¡¡Vicious¡¡and¡¡painful¡¡lies£»¡¡all¡¡of¡¡them¡£
¡¡¡¡There¡¡was¡¡little¡¡strength¡¡left¡¡in¡¡the¡¡day¡¡once¡¡he'd¡¡finished¡¡preparing¡¡the¡¡room¡£¡¡He¡¡heard¡¡feet¡¡in¡¡the¡¡hallway¡¡and¡¡doors¡¡being¡¡opened¡¡elsewhere¡¡in¡¡the¡¡house¡¡as¡¡the¡¡occupants¡¡of¡¡the¡¡other¡¡rooms¡¡came¡¡home¡¡from¡¡work¡£¡¡They£»¡¡like¡¡him£»¡¡lived¡¡alone¡£¡¡He¡¡knew¡¡none¡¡of¡¡them¡¡by¡¡name£»¡¡none¡¡of¡¡them£»¡¡seeing¡¡him¡¡taken¡¡out¡¡escorted¡¡by¡¡police£»¡¡would¡¡know¡¡his¡£
¡¡¡¡He¡¡undressed¡¡pletely¡¡and¡¡washed¡¡himself¡¡at¡¡the¡¡sink£»¡¡his¡¡testicles¡¡small¡¡as¡¡walnuts£»¡¡tight¡¡to¡¡his¡¡body£»¡¡his¡¡belly¡¡flab¡­the¡¡fat¡¡of¡¡his¡¡breasts¡¡and¡¡upper¡¡arms¡­quivering¡¡as¡¡the¡¡cold¡¡convulsed¡¡him¡£¡¡Once¡¡satisfied¡¡with¡¡his¡¡cleanliness£»¡¡he¡¡sat¡¡on¡¡the¡¡mattress¡¡edge¡¡and¡¡cut¡¡his¡¡toenails¡£¡¡Then¡¡he¡¡dressed¡¡in¡¡freshly¡¡laundered¡¡clothes£º¡¡the¡¡blue¡¡shirt£»¡¡the¡¡gray¡¡trousers¡£¡¡He¡¡wore¡¡no¡¡shoes¡¡or¡¡socks¡£¡¡Of¡¡the¡¡physique¡¡that¡¡shamed¡¡him£»¡¡his¡¡feet¡¡were¡¡his¡¡only¡¡pride¡£
¡¡¡¡It¡¡was¡¡almost¡¡dark¡¡by¡¡the¡¡time¡¡he¡¡finished£»¡¡and¡¡the¡¡night¡¡was¡¡black¡¡and¡¡rainy¡£¡¡Time¡¡to¡¡go£»¡¡he¡¡thought¡£
¡¡¡¡He¡¡positioned¡¡the¡¡chair¡¡carefully£»¡¡stepped¡¡up¡¡onto¡¡it£»¡¡and¡¡reached¡¡for¡¡the¡¡rope¡£¡¡The¡¡noose¡¡was¡¡if¡¡anything£»¡¡an¡¡inch¡¡or¡¡two¡¡too¡¡high£»¡¡and¡¡he¡¡had¡¡to¡¡go¡¡on¡¡tiptoe¡¡to¡¡fit¡¡it¡¡snugly¡¡around¡¡his¡¡neck£»¡¡but¡¡he¡¡fitted¡¡it¡¡securely¡¡with¡¡a¡¡little¡¡maneuvering¡£¡¡Once¡¡he¡¡had¡¡the¡¡knot¡¡pulled¡¡tight¡¡against¡¡his¡¡skin¡¡he¡¡said¡¡his¡¡prayers¡¡and¡¡kicked¡¡the¡¡chair¡¡over¡£
¡¡¡¡Panic¡¡began¡¡immediately£»¡¡and¡¡his¡¡hands£»¡¡which¡¡he'd¡¡always¡¡trusted£»¡¡betrayed¡¡him¡¡at¡¡this¡¡vital¡¡juncture£»¡¡springing¡¡up¡¡f
СÌáʾ£º°´ »Ø³µ [Enter] ¼ü ·µ»ØÊéÄ¿£¬°´ ¡û ¼ü ·µ»ØÉÏÒ»Ò³£¬ °´ ¡ú ¼ü ½øÈëÏÂÒ»Ò³¡£ ÔÞһϠÌí¼ÓÊéÇ©¼ÓÈëÊé¼Ü