told that his manipulation was justified and…whatever happened from now on…she understood that he'd acted for the best。 She offered no such disclaimer。 She just said： 〃I think I'm ready。〃 〃What can I do？〃 〃Very little；〃 she replied。 〃But be here； Marty。〃 〃And if 。 。 。 you know 。 。 。 if anything seems to be wrong？ Can I help you？〃 〃No；〃 she answered。
〃When will I know that you're there？〃 he asked。
She looked at him as though his question was an idiot's； and said： 〃You'll know。〃
62
It wasn't difficult to find the European： her mind went to him with almost distressing readiness； as if into the arms of a long…lost patriot。 She could distinctly feel the pull of him； though not； she thought； a conscious magnetism。 When her thoughts arrived at Caliban Street and entered the room at the top of the stairs； her suspicions about his passivity were verified。 He was lying on the bare boards of the room in a posture of utter exhaustion。 Perhaps； she thought； I can do this after all。 Like a teasing mistress； she crept to his side； and slipped into him。
She murmured。
Marty flinched。 There were movements in her throat； which were so thin he felt he could almost see the words shaping in it。 Speak to me； he willed her。 Say it's all right。 Her body had bee rigid。 He touched her。 Her muscle was stone； as though she'd exchanged glances with the basilisk。
〃Carys？〃 She murmured again； her throat palpitating； but no words came； there was barely breath。
〃Can you hear me？〃 If she could； she made no sign of it。 Seconds passed into minutes and still she was a wall； his questions fracturing against her and falling into silence。
And then she said： 〃I'm here。〃 Her voice was insubstantial； like a foreign station found on a radio； words from some unfixable place。
〃With him？〃 he asked。
〃Yes。〃 No prevarication now； he charged himself。 She'd gone to the European； as he'd asked。 Now he had to use her courage as efficiently as possible and call her back before anything went wrong。 He asked the most difficult question first； and the one he most needed an answer to。
〃What is he； Carys？〃 〃I don't know；〃 she said。
The tip of her tongue flickered out to spread a film of spit across her lips。
〃So dark；〃 she muttered。
It was dark in him： the same palpable darkness as in the room at Caliban Street。 But； for the moment at least； the shadows were passive。 The European didn't expect intruders here。 He'd left no guardian terrors at the gates of his brain。 She stepped deeper into his head。 Darts of light burst at the corners of her thought's sight； like the colors that came after she'd rubbed her eyes； only more brilliant and more momentary。 They came and went so quickly she was not certain if she saw anything in them or illuminated by them； but as she progressed and the bursts became more frequent； she began to see patterns there： mas； lattices； bars； dots； spirals。
Marty's voice interrupted the reverie； some foolish question that she had no patience with。 She ignored it。 Let him wait。 The lights were being more intricate； their patterns cross…fertilizing； gaining depth and weight。 Now she seemed to see tunnels and tumbling cubes； seas of rolling light； fissures opening and sealing； rains of white noise。 She watched； entranced by the way they grew and multiplied； the world of his thought appearing in flickering Heavens above her； falling in showers on her and about her。 Vast blocks of intersecting geometries thundered over； hovering inches above her skull； the weight of small moons。
Just as suddenly： gone。 All of them。 Darkness again； as relentless as ever； pressed on her from every side。 For a moment she had the sensation of being smothered； she grabbed for breath； panicking。
〃Carys？〃 〃I'm all right；〃 she whispered to the distant inquirer。 He was a world away； but he cared for her； or so she dimly remembered。
〃Where are you？〃 he wanted to know。
She didn't have a clue； so she shook her head。 Which way should she advance； if at all？ She waited in the darkness； readying herself for whatever might happen next。
Suddenly the lights began again； at the horizon。 This time…for their second performance…pattern had bee form。 Instead of spirals she saw rising columns of burning smoke。 In place of seas of light； a landscape； with intermittent sunshine stabbing distant hillsides。 Birds rose on burning wings then turned into leaves of books； fluttering up from conflagrations that were even now flaring on every side。
〃Where are you？〃 he asked her again。 Her eyes roved maniacally behind her closed lids； taking in this burgeoning province。 He could share none of it； except through her words； and she was dumb with admiration or terror； he couldn't tell which。
There was sound here too。 Not much； the promontory she walked on had suffered too many ravages to shout。 Its life was almost out。 Bodies sprawled underfoot； so badly disfigured they might have been dropped out of the sky。 Weapons； horses； wheels。 She saw all of this as if by a show of lurid fireworks； with no sight glimpsed more than once。 In the instant of darkness between one light…burst and the next the entire scene would change。 One moment she was standing on an open road with a naked girl running toward her； bawling。 The next； on a hillside looking down on a razed valley； snatched through a pall of smoke。 Now a silver birch copse； now not。 Now a ruin； with a headless man at her feet； again； not。 But always the fires somewhere near； the smuts and the shrieks dirtying the air； the sense of relentless pursuit。 She felt it could go on forever； these scenes changing before her…one moment a landscape； the next an atrocity…without her having time to correlate the disparate images。
Then； as abruptly as the first patterns had ceased； the fires did also； and the darkness was everywhere about her again。
〃Where？〃 Marty's voice found her。 He was so agitated in his confusion； she answered him。
〃I'm almost dead；〃 she said； quite calmly。
〃Carys？〃 He was terrified that naming her would alert Mamoulian； but he had to know if she spoke for herself； or for him。
〃Not Carys；〃 she replied。 Her mouth seemed to lose its fullness； the lips thinning。 It was Mamoulian's mouth； not hers。
She raised her hand a little way from her lap as if making to touch her face。
〃Almost dead；〃 she said again。 〃Lost the battle； you see。 Lost the whole bloody war 。 。 。〃 〃Which war？〃 〃Lost from the beginning。 Not that it matters； eh？ Find myself another war。 There's always one around。〃 〃Who are you？〃 She frowned。 〃What's it to you？〃 she snapped at him。 〃None of your business。〃 〃It doesn't matter；〃 Marty returned。 He feared pushing the interrogation too hard。 As it was； his question was answered in the next breath。
〃My name's Mamoulian。 I'm a sergeant in the Third Fusiliers。 Correction： was a sergeant。〃 〃Not now？〃 〃No； not now。 I'm nobody now。 It's safer to be nobody these days； don't you think？〃 The tone was eerily conversational； as though the European knew exactly what was happening； and had chosen to talk with Marty through Carys。 Another game； perhaps？
〃When I think of the things I've done；〃 he said； 〃to stay out of trouble。 I'm such a coward； you see？ Always have been。 Loathe the sight of blood。〃 He began to laugh in her； a solid； unfeminine laugh。
〃You're just a man？〃 Marty said。 He could scarcely credit what he was being told。 There was no Devil hiding in the European's cortex； just this half…mad sergeant； lost on some battlefield。 〃Just a man？〃 he said again。
〃What did you want me to be？〃 the sergeant replied； quick as a flash。 〃I'm happy to oblige。 Anything to get me out of this shit。〃 〃Who do you think you're talking to？〃 The sergeant frowned with Carys〃 face； puzzling this one out。
〃I'm losing my mind；〃 he said dolefully。 〃I've been talking to myself for days now on and off。 There's no one left； you see？ The Third's been wiped out。 And the Fourth。 And the Fifth。 All blown to Hell！〃 He stopped and pulled a wry face。 〃Got no one to play cards with； damn it。 Can't play with dead men； can I？ They've got nothing I want 。 。 。〃 The voice trailed away。
〃What date is it？〃 〃Sometime in October； isn't it？〃