it！ Oh； how could he stop her from sure disaster？
〃Don't be cross with me；〃 he begged。 〃I am your friend！〃
She gave a short； barking laugh。 〃You're a fine one to talk。 Some friend！ On that freighter； you didn't help me a bit。 You didn't even volunteer to keep books for me！ You could have put up signs； 'The One and Only Too…Too！' You're even a lousy PR。〃
〃Oh； e off of it；〃 said Madison。 〃I couldn't get involved with a filthy business like that！ You were making that poor boy into a prostitute； ruining his life！ You even had him smoking pot。 You have no conscience！ No moral sense of any kind！〃
〃You're a fine one to talk； sleeping with your mother！〃
〃That's just the way I was raised！〃
〃Well； this is just the way I was raised！〃 snapped Teenie。 〃Have you got any money？〃
〃Well； no。〃
〃And I bet you came around here just to borrow some。〃
Madison received a shock。 He had sort of wondered if they had let her keep hers。
〃I landed with a thousand credits；〃 said Teenie。 〃I got it stashed。 I'll let you have ten credits and that's the limit。 You can then proceed to get lost。〃
Ten credits？ He didn't know what things cost but it wasn't enough to sell his pride for。 〃I wouldn't touch money made out of the body of that poor boy！〃
〃That 'poor boy；' as you call him； happens to be a catamite that that （bleep） Gris set onto Lord Endow。 Lord Endow is the head of the Exterior Division and the top man over the Apparatus； when he can stop drooling long enough。 So I taught that 'poor boy；' as you call him； a few little tricks he could do and when he got back here he pleased Lord Endow no end。 The goofy old （bleepard） went absolutely delirious over Too…Too。〃
〃Wait a minute；〃 said Madison； in Voltarian； 〃you just shifted languages。 When you started talking about Endow； you shifted to Voltarian。〃
〃Of course I did。 And it's court Voltarian。 What you just said； you said in executive Voltarian。〃
〃But how。。。〃
〃Well； Lord Endow would do anything Too…Too asked； even jump over one of this assortment of moons they got on this planet。 And I right away got sent to page school。 They hypnotrained me to talk； read and write court Voltarian in five days。 But meantime； Too…Too told all the other catamites about the wonderful trip he had had； and boy； were they envious！ （Bleeped） by a whole crew for six weeks！ He was the hero of the hour！ So he's got me teaching the other catamites and we're including all the pages。〃
〃Wait a minute；〃 said Madison。 〃You must be lying； Teenie。 I saw you doing slave work with my own eyes！〃
〃Well； jumping Jesus Christ； Maddie； you really are dumb。 Is that why you were chattering about me being a slave？ Listen； buster； I've only got a limited supply of marijuana seed and those dumb gardeners would have wasted it。 Sure they got a growth catalyst that matures it in a week； but the old （bleeps） are 160； would you believe it？ And they potter and totter when they ought to be drilling and tilling。 We're tearing up all the flower beds in sight and planting the whole place properly with Mary Jane。〃
〃Oh； God；〃 said Madison。 〃More trouble。 They'll kill us。 You're my assistant now。 Please； get out of this palace before they shoot us。〃
〃（Bleep）； Maddie！ Nobody's going to shoot us。 Too…Too told Lord Endow I was a movie queen on Earth。 So the drooling old （bleepard） gave me this palace。 Two hundred and thirty rooms！ Some queen abandoned it about a hundred or a thousand years ago； poisoned or old age or something。 But all her things are still here： Queen Hora； it says on the silver trays。 I'm getting cold。〃
She snapped her fingers in a peculiar way and two old men in ornate silver livery； who must have been hovering in one of the several hallways； rushed in。 They threw a gauzy silken robe on her that left her twice as naked as before。 They snapped up the table cover she had used for a towel and vanished back into the hall。
Teenie snapped her fingers again； in a different way； and two old women trotted out。 They were dressed in silver gowns。 One bore a crystal jug of sparklewater on a crystal tray with crystal glasses。 The other expertly balanced a silver tray which must have had ten pounds of colored sweetbuns on it； topped； each one； with a design which said Queen Teenie。
Madison suddenly got the picture。
Teenie had INFLUENCE！
Hope boomed in him like a struck drum。 He could almost hear the trumpets blare。 Influence could be USED！
The two old women had made their offerings to Teenie； bent to one knee。 She had a goblet of sparklewater now in one hand and was cramming an oversized sweet…bun into her oversized mouth with the other。
The two old women cast their eyes sideways in a question to Teenie； waiting then for a signal to offer something to Madison。
Teenie shook her head。 〃Forget him；〃 she said。 〃He's no friend of mine。〃
The two old women backed away； bowed and left。
It was more than hunger which made Madison stare after them。 He knew just where he stood now。 Nowhere。
His hopes of finishing Heller fell crumbling about him。
Chapter 5
A small obituary ran through Madison's head：
Earthman Found Dead
An emaciated body was discovered last night in Slum City。 The identoplate had the name J。 Walter Madison。 No known relatives or friends on Voltar。
Teenie sat there stuffing herself with sweetbuns and guzzling down nutritious sparklewater。 Maybe； thought Madison； when the beast in her is fed； she will be more kind。
He waited until her face looked relaxed and then he said； 〃Teenie； mon humanity says that you should help me。〃
She shrugged。 〃Why should I？ Did you help me on the yacht？ No。 You didn't even attempt to persuade that （bleeped） Gris to stay aboard！ You ran right off with him！〃
Ah； so that was what was biting her。 No reason to stir it up further： he would try another tack； earnest and sincere。 Even frank！〃Teenie； I've got to succeed as a PR here。 Otherwise I'll never be accepted back on Earth。 Did you ever hear of Wister？〃
〃The Whiz Kid？ Yeah； I read something。 And that （bleeping） （bleep） （bleep） Gris was snarling about him one day。〃
〃Well； Teenie； the Whiz Kid was really Jettero Heller； a Royal officer of Voltar。 And I'm in trouble。 I never pleted my job on him。〃
〃That's your （bleep）； baby。 Not mine。〃
Madison was beginning to feel desperate。 That obituary was drifting to the last page； below the classifieds。 〃Teenie； I've got to make motions of putting Hisst on the throne。〃
〃So what's that to me？ He doesn't and won't give a （bleep） what's happening in Palace City。 He never even talks to the Lords here and they sure won't talk to him； no matter what he calls himself。 He's just a rat from Slum City： he'd still have to rule through the Grand Council。 He's got them all drugged up； but even so he can only push them so far。 They privately laugh at him behind his back。 Even if he gets put on the throne he won't last any time at all。 I know what I'm talking about； because I been through page school now and I know all the pages and they know everything！ So all I've got to do is keep in good with the catamites； raise lots of Mary Jane and sit here in my queen's palace having fun。 I've got it made。〃
Madison's obituary even lost its subtitle。 Desperation boiled over。 He got down on his knees。 〃Please； Teenie。 Oh； please； help me！〃
She laughed at him。 She snapped her fingers in yet a different way and two young boys； about twelve； ran out of a hall； stopped before her and bowed。
〃You've got to excuse me； Madison；〃 said Teenie。 〃I have a class starting shortly。〃
All sorts of arguments were racing through Madison's head。 He was hastily examining her own assessment of her situation to see if he could punch any holes in it。 Having worked for Rockecenter； he knew that madmen could not be dismissed so lightly。 But all he could e up with was that she had INFLUENCE and he needed it desperately。
Then suddenly he registered what she was doing。 He was horrified for more reasons than one。 Good Heavens； she was going to disgrace herself and not even be able to help him if she would。 She had gone insane！
She had signalled to the two boys before her and they were grinning in a knowing way and taking off their clothes！
〃No； no！〃 cried Madison。 〃Not here！ This is a public audience hall！〃
Teenie smiled。 She said； 〃I know。 And the audie