ost reverently as he held it out to Duncan。
〃Here。 You probably ought to have this back。〃
〃No； you keep it； in memory of your mother。〃
〃But … that leaves you with nothing of hers；〃 Dhugal began。
〃It leaves me with everything；〃 Duncan replied； touching a fingertip to Dhugal's cheek。 〃I have her son。〃
And in another chamber not far away； another； spiritual son prepared for his nuptials； fretting and impatient as his dressers made final adjustments to his wedding finery。 The velvet of Kelson's full…length crimson cloak was powdered with scores of tiny Haldane lions worked in fine gold bullion； his tunic quartered in the same fabric for two panels and its reverse for the other two； silk…embroidered lions of scarlet on cloth of gold。 As a pliment to his bride's highland ancestry； he had bound his hair at the nape of his neck with a golden cord； though it was not braided； border…style。 A golden state crown of crosses and leaves intertwined had been brought out of the vaults of the castle treasury； said to have been worn by Malcolm Haldane at his wedding to another Mearan princess nearly a century before； and Kelson ran a careful finger along one of the leaves and glanced at Morgan as the dressers packed up the last of their accoutrements and left。 Some even said the crown had once belonged to Cinhil Haldane； perhaps even the infamous Festils before him。 If it had； perhaps Saint Camber had seen and even touched it。
〃Do you think I'm doing the right thing？〃 Kelson asked Morgan； when they were alone at last。 〃It isn't what I always dreamed of。 God knows … a marriage of state； with a girl I hardly know； much less love。〃
〃Are you asking for a reiteration of all the objective reasons why the marriage should take place？〃 Morgan countered。
〃God； no！ We've gone over them so many times； I could recite them by rote； in voices appropriate to the councillors who made each particular point。〃 Kelson sighed。 〃I suppose I'm really asking whether you think there's any chance of real love creeping in amid all those reasons of state。 I know objections of the heart have to e second to duty when one is king； but I can't help envying what you and Richenda have。〃
Morgan smiled； remembering his own fears on his wedding day； even though he and Richenda had loved one another as only Deryni； who had shared minds and dreams and fears； could。 He doubted Kelson would ever find that perfect meshing of souls with the human Sidana； but who could say？ Couples often fell in love after marriage； and grew to cherish one another。 If both Kelson and Sidana made an honest effort； their union should not be too oppressive。 And with peace as the potential prize …
〃I won't try to tell you that I know you'll live happily ever after； as the bards would have us believe；〃 he said after a moment。 〃It won't be easy。 On the other hand； Richenda tells me that your princess does grow wistful about you on occasion。 Of course Sidana would never admit that she's at least a little excited about your ing marriage … she's far too proud for that。 But she is a beautiful； healthy young girl … and you are the most eligible； puissant； and attractive prince in all Christendom。 How could she not find you desirable？〃
Kelson blushed furiously。 〃Alaric； stop that！ You're putting it on such a … a carnal level！ If she can e to love me； I want our love to be … well； spiritual； like yours and Richenda's。〃
〃Spiritual？〃 Morgan snorted。 〃Kelson； do you think that Richenda and I spend all our time alone discussing the spiritual aspects of our relationship。〃
〃Well； I … 〃
〃That's a part of it； of course；〃 Morgan went on； 〃but I assure you that the 'carnal level；' as you put it； is very； very nice； as well。 Don't sell your body short。 It's a part of who and what you are。 Lofty love is well and good for monks； and a healthy measure of it gives marriage deeper dimension； but especially with a human wife； where you won't have the potential for such sharing of minds； you're going to find that the physical act of love is a very special means of munication and munion in itself。 And of course； on a very practical level； it's essential for begetting heirs。〃
〃Yes； well … 〃 Kelson turned and paced back and forth several times； hands clasped nervously before him； his cloak stirring around his heels。 When he finally stopped to glance aside at Morgan again； he was a little paler against his crimson raiment。
〃Alaric； I … never have； you know。〃
〃I know；〃 Morgan murmured sympathetically； but Kelson went on as if he had not heard。
〃There … just hasn't been time … not to do it the way I'd always dreamed；〃 the king whispered。 〃Oh； there could have been casual couplings with any number of serving wenches and maids and even ladies of the court … and one can hardly live in the close quarters of a castle； or on campaign； and not have seen and heard enough to know what that's all about。 If all we're talking about is the physical drive； then every page and peasant boy soon learns how to relieve that。 Princes are no exception。 But I am more than just my body； Alaric。 And even though I've never … been with a woman； I know there has to be more to making love than just the physical relief。〃
As Morgan nodded wisely； sensing no need for a verbal response。 Kelson paused only long enough to draw breath before racing on； justifications and logic jumbling all together with emotion and the natural apprehensions of the sexually uninitiated。
〃There's another thing； too；〃 the king blurted； starting to pace again。 〃I'm the king。 What if there had been children？ The last thing I need plicating the already convoluted family relationships in Gwynedd is a succession of royal bastards to muddy the waters twenty years from now … or to bee pawns in my enemies' hands at any time。 And I'm Deryni； Alaric。 My children will be； too。 That alone might have been enough to ensure their deaths and those of their mothers。 It just seemed。。。 safer to abstain； and avoid the risk。〃
〃It probably was；〃 Morgan agreed。
〃So that leaves me in the very awkward position of being a virgin on my wedding night；〃 Kelson concluded。 〃That's fine for a woman； it's essential in the woman I marry。 But … what if I don't know what to do； Alaric？ What if she laughs at me？〃
Morgan had all he could do not to smile。 Was there a man alive who had not had such fears； at least in the beginning？ And some never really lost those fears … though Kelson； with his gentleness and his genuine concern for others； was not likely to be left with that dilemma。
With avuncular understanding； then； Morgan put an arm around Kelson's shoulders and did his best to reassure； reminding the virgin Kelson of his young bride's similar state and suggesting ways that the king might sense how best to please her。 That idea had never even occurred to Kelson。 By the time Dhugal appeared at the door with the rest of the king's wedding procession。 Kelson could relax and even banter with his more worldly foster brother as he put on his crown and went out to meet his bride。
* * *
The horses and the bride's pany were waiting in the castle yard under a sky of palest winter blue； Sidana gowned in slightly darker shades of the same and seated on a milk white palfrey with white and silver bardings。 The fine wool of her mantle； a deeper azure embroidered with golden pomegranates all around the hem； had been spread over her horse's rump so that it nearly trailed the ground in the back。 She was crowned with a wreath of white roses； her long； chestnut hair spilling down her back to nearly veil the mantle。
Llewell stood at her horse's head； nervously knotting and unknotting the animal's white leather lead…rein in gloved fingers … a brooding shadow in darker blue than Sidana's； scowling into the sun。 A little way behind； Richenda and three other ladies waited on pale grey palfreys； ready to attend the bride。 Others of the king's attendants were already mounted up as well。 Deny holding the reins of his black stallion。 To one side； four of Kelson's knights were readying a canopy of sky blue silk to carry over the bride。 None of the four ranked lower than an earl's son。
〃We are blessed with fair weather for our nuptials； my lady；〃 Kelson said； inclining his head in tentative greeting when