alone； and they will soon be great。
Reader； if there be any point which deserves your attention； believe
me； it is this one。 It is one that will give you trouble； I know。 But
if you do not take trouble with your children when they are young； they
will give you trouble when they are old。 Choose which you prefer。
XIII。 Train them remembering continually how God trains His children。
The Bible tells us that God has an elect people； a family in this
world。 All poor sinners who have been convinced of sin； and fled to
Jesus for peace； make up that family。 All of us who really believe on
Christ for salvation are its members。
Now God the Father is ever training the members of this family for
their everlasting abode with Him in heaven。 He acts as a husbandman
pruning his vines； that they may bear more fruit。 He knows the
character of each of us； our besetting sins； our weaknesses； our
peculiar infirmities； our special wants。 He knows our works and where
we dwell； who are our panions in life； and what are our trials； what
our temptations； and what are our privileges。 He knows all these
things； and is ever ordering all for our good。 He allots to each of us；
in His providence； the very things we need； in order to bear the most
fruit； as much of sunshine as we can stand； and as much of rain； as
much of bitter things as we can bear； and as much of sweet。 Reader； if
you would train your children wisely； mark well how God the Father
trains His。 He doeth all things well； the plan which He adopts must be
right。
See； then； how many things there are which God withholds from His
children。 Few could be found； I suspect； among them who have not had
desires which He has never been pleased to fulfil。 There has often been
some one thing they wanted to attain； and yet there has always been
some barrier to prevent attainment。 It has been just as if God was
placing it above our reach； and saying； 〃This is not good for you； this
must not be。〃 Moses desired exceedingly to cross over Jordan； and see
the goodly land of promise； but you will remember his desire was never
granted。
See； too； how often God leads His people by ways which seem dark and
mysterious to our eyes。 We cannot see the meaning of all His dealings
with us； we cannot see the reasonableness of the path in which our feet
are treading。 Sometimes so many trials have assailed us；so many
difficulties enpassed us； that we have not been able to discover the
needs…be of it all。 It has been just as if our Father was taking us by
the hand into a dark place and saying； 〃Ask no questions； but follow
Me。〃 There was a direct road from Egypt to Canaan； yet Israel was not
led into it； but round； through the wilderness。 And this seemed hard at
the time。 〃The soul of the people；〃 we are told； 〃was much discouraged
because of the way〃 （Exod。 13：17； Num。 21：4）。
See； also； how often God chastens His people with trial and affliction。
He sends them crosses and disappointments； He lays them low with
sickness； He strips them of property and friends； He changes them from
one position to another； He visits them with things most hard to flesh
and blood； and some of us have well…nigh fainted under the burdens laid
upon us。 We have felt pressed beyond strength； and have been almost
ready to murmur at the hand which chastened us。 Paul the Apostle had a
thorn in the flesh appointed him； some bitter bodily trial； no doubt；
though we know not exactly what it was。 But this we know； he besought
the Lord thrice that it might be removed； yet it was not taken away （2
Cor。 12：8…9）。
Now； reader； notwithstanding all these things； did you ever hear of a
single child of God who thought his Father did not treat him wisely？
No； I am sure you never did。 God's children would always tell you； in
the long run； it was a blessed thing they did not have their own way；
and that God had done far better for them than they could have done for
themselves。 Yes！ And they could tell you； too； that God's dealings had
provided more happiness for them than they ever would have obtained
themselves； and that His way； however dark at times； was the way of
pleasantness and the path of peace。
I ask you to lay to heart the lesson which God's dealings with His
people is meant to teach you。 Fear not to withhold from your child
anything you think will do him harm； whatever his own wishes may be。
This is God's plan。
Hesitate not to lay on him mands； of which he may not at present see
the wisdom； and to guide him in ways which may not now seem reasonable
to his mind。 This is God's plan。
Shrink not from chastising and correcting him whenever you see his
soul's health requires it； however painful it may be to your feelings；
and remember medicines for the mind must not be rejected because they
are bitter。 This is God's plan。
And be not afraid； above all； that such a plan of training will make
your child unhappy。 I warn you against this delusion。 Depend on it；
there is no surer road to unhappiness than always having our own way。
To have our wills checked and denied is a blessed thing for us； it
makes us value enjoyments when they e。 To be indulged perpetually is
the way to be made selfish； and selfish people and spoiled children；
believe me； are seldom happy。
Reader； be not wiser than God； train your children as He trains His。
XIV。 Train them remembering continually the influence of your own
example。
Instruction； and advice； and mands will profit little； unless they
are backed up by the pattern of your own life。 Your children will never
believe you are in earnest； and really wish them to obey you； so long
as your actions contradict your counsel。 Archbishop Tillotson made a
wise remark when he said； 〃To give children good instruction； and a bad
example； is but beckoning to them with the head to show them the way to
heaven； while we take them by the hand and lead them in the way to
hell。〃
We little know the force and power of example。 No one of us can live to
himself in this world； we are always influencing those around us； in
one way or another； either for good or for evil； either for God or for
sin。They see our ways； they mark our conduct； they observe our
behaviour； and what they see us practise； that they may fairly suppose
we think right。 And never； I believe； does example tell so powerfully
as it does in the case of parents and children。
Fathers and mothers； do not forget that children learn more by the eye
than they do by the ear。 No school will make such deep marks on
character as home。 The best of schoolmasters will not imprint on their
minds as much as they will pick up at your fireside。 Imitation is a far
stronger principle with children than memory。 What they see has a much
stronger effect on their minds than what they are told。
Take care； then； what you do before a child。 It is a true proverb； 〃
Who sins before a child； sins double。〃 Strive rather to be a living
epistle of Christ； such as your families can read； and that plainly
too。 Be an example of reverence for the Word of God； reverence in
prayer； reverence for means of grace； reverence for the Lord's day。Be
an example in words； in temper； in diligence； in temperance； in faith；
in charity； in kindness； in humility。 Think not your children will
practise what they do not see you do。 You are their model picture； and
they will copy what you are。 Your reasoning and your lecturing； your
wise mands and your good advice； all this they may not understand；
but they can understand your life。
Children are very quick observers； very quick in seeing through some
kinds of hypocrisy； very quick in finding out what you really think and
feel； very quick in adopting all your ways and opinions。 You will often
find as the father is； so is the son。
Remember the word that the conqueror Caesar always used to his soldiers