rvival instinct。
'You want to know the real me？' Yukio said into Nicholas's ear as they both stared at the only monument to what had happened here such a short/long time ago。 'There。 You see it。 That is what I am like inside。 What you see on the outside is all that's left standing。'
Now； he thought； she had bee maudlin； turning full circle from her usual sardonic tough…as…nails stance。 But； he thought； it was this dichotomy that most intrigued him about her。 And he did not for a moment think she was as unplicated as she made out。 He knew that to be a defence … her ultimate defence perhaps。 Still； he could not stop himself from wondering what manner of unfamiliar territory lay beyond the stonewall she had so effectively erected。
Streamers of cloud flew obliquely across the sky as they left Hiroshima behind； seeming to begin from the ground； reaching up into the very heart of heaven。
'Pardon me；' said the old man across from them。 'Please excuse this intrusion but I could not help wondering。'
He paused and Nicholas was obliged to ask him； 'What were you wondering ？'
'If you have ever been to Hiroshima。'
'No；' Nicholas said and Yukio shook her head。
'I didn't think so；' the old man said。 'In any case； you would be too young to remember the old city； to have seen it before the annihilation。'
'Did you？' Yukio asked。
'Oh yes。' He smiled； almost wistfully； and when he did； the wrinkles seemed to fade from his face。 'Yes； Hiroshima was my home。 Once。 That seems very far away now； I think。 Almost as if it were part of another life。' He smiled again。 'And in an important way it was。〃
'Where were you；〃 Nicholas said； 'when it happened？' 'Oh； I was away in the hills。' He nodded。 'Yes； safely away from the firefall。 Trees shook miles away and the earth convulsed as if in pain。 There was never anything like it。 A wound in the universe。 It went beyond the death of man or animal or even civilization。'
Nicholas wanted to ask the old man what it was that went beyond all those things but he could not bring himself to do it。 He stared； dry…mouthed。
'It was lucky you weren't in the city when the bomb fell。' The old man regarded Yukio。 'Luck？' he said as if tasting the flesh of some unfamiliar fowl。 'I don't know。 Perhaps luck might be a modern equivalent； though an inadequate one。 If anything； it was karma。 You see； I had been out of the country just prior to the war。 I was a businessman in those days and went quite often to the continent。 Mostly to Shanghai； where a majority of my selling was done。' For the first time his hands came into view and Nicholas saw the unnatural lenght of his nails。 They were perfectly manicured； buffed and gleaming with clear lacquer。 The old man saw the look in Nicholas's eyes； said； 'An affectation I picked up there from the Chinese mandarins with whom I did business and who befriended me。 I do not even notice them now； I've grown so accustomed to them。 But； of course； these are only of quite a moderate length。' He settled back more fortably in the seat； began to speak as if telling a bedtime story to his grandchildren。 He had a remarkable speaking voice； manding yet gentle； as well modulated as a seasoned lecturer's。 'We took some time off over a long weekend and； all our business pleted； we went into the countryside for a bit of relaxation。 I had no idea what to expect； really。 These were Chinese； after all。 The mandarins have； ah； peculiar tastes in many things。 But in business one must learn to be cosmopolitan in one's thinking … especially when it conies to the matter of your clients' personal tastes。 Yes； I do not believe that it is good policy to be close…minded or； ah； traditional here。 The world supports a myriad cultures； is that not so？ Who is to say which is the more valid。' He shrugged his thin sharp shoulders。 'Certainly not I。'
Outside； the afternoon was waning； the oblique cloudbanks streaked with gold and pink on their undersides； a charcoal grey above。 The sun was already out of sight below the horizon and in the east the sky was clear； a vast cobalt porcelain bowl； seeming translucent。 High up； several first…magnitude stars could already be seen flung aloft as if by a giant hand。 The world seemed suffused with an absolute stillness as at the midpoint of a long summer's afternoon when time itself ceases to have any meaning。 It was a magical time； made up of fantastic elements having all miraculously arrived at the same spot at one instant； the inaudible sigh the inner ear hears in that last moment in a theatre before the curtain rises。
'They took me on a journey； my mandarin friends。 To a town within a town； as I said； outside of Shanghai。 It was …excuse me； my dear … a bordello。 Not merely the building we went to； oh no。 The entire town。 Yes； that's right； a city of pleasure。 You will forgive me； young lady； parts of this tale。 A marfon business for weeks at a time … one can ill afford to take one's wife along on such trips for many reasons。 And these things bee； well； almost an expected part of the trip。
'The mandarins regard sex very highly； oh my； yes； they certainly do。 And I cannot say that I blame them。' He gave a little chuckle； not at all smutty but rather avuncular。 'It is； after all； both a necessary and an important part of life； so why not honour it。
'Uhm； in any event it was the most sumptuous； the largest such place I had ever been to。 The clientele was strictly mandarin and further； I gathered； only certain families。 Extremely exclusive； yes。' His eyes were big and dreamy。 'One could live the rest of one's life there quite easily； I daresay。 But； of course； that is not possible。 Such places are only for a small amount of time。 That kind of rarefied atmosphere would； I imagine； pall after a time。 Anyway； I wouldn't want to chance it。 Life would most certainly be not worthwhile if all such spectacular dreams were shattered。 Everyone needs time in their life when reality can be set aside； hm？' The train rattled onwards； across a trestle bridge； plunging into a bleak and scraggy forest of deciduous trees； as forlorn as the ragtag remnants of some defeated army。 The light was dying； the clouds stark now in their blackness； only losing definition near the horizon where the haze rendered all colour indistinguishable。 Night had swept them up as swiftly as a remonstrating parent。
'So。 Here we are in this place。 But my purpose is not to tell you all the goings…on there。' He smiled winningly。 'You're young enough not to need any help from me on that score。 No。 Rather； I wish to tell you about a man I met there。' He held up one long； bony but perfectly straight finger。 The long nail gleamed in the artificial light of the car； causing it to look like a street marker。 'Curious。 About this man； I mean。 He was no client； of that I am certain。 Yet neither did he appear to be an employee of the establishment。 Certainly I never saw him at work。
'Late in the night； or early in the morning； to be pletely accurate； he could be found in the great first…floor parlour … the building had two storeys； it may have been British…made； though certainly for quite a different purpose originally … sitting in one of the overstuffed wing chairs playing a game with； red and black marked tiles I had never seen before …'
'Mah…jongg？' Nicholas asked。
'No； not mah…jongg。 Another game entirely。 One I could never fathom。 He would sit there silent and motionless while the girls cleaned up and when they had finished and had left he would begin to play。 Click…click。 Click…click
The old man lifted out a cigarette and； with some difficulty； owing to the length of his nails； lit it with a thin gunmetal Ronson。 He smiled as one eye squinted up with the smoke。 He might once have been an oriental Humphrey Bogart； the expression came so naturally to his face。 He twisted the lighter's wide face so that the light glanced off it in a flare。 'A memento of those days； so far away。 Belonged to a British diplomat whom I helped out of a spot of trouble there。 He insisted I take it。 I would have lost face had I not。' He pocketed the Ronson； drew briefly on the cigarette； let the smoke out so that his image was as hazed as the countryside rolling by outside。
'It was impossible for